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He's Talkin in his sleep again, and it's not gooood


SherriLi
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Can anyone make anything of this? This morning i woke to hear my boyfriend of 2 years talking in his sleep. He was babbling for some time, then he quieted. The he said my name, which is strange cuz he always calls me either Honey, Baby or my love. In his sleep he said "Sherri", after a brief pause he then said I guess the lady isn't all THAT bad, Fu%#in' B*$ch!

I couldn't help but think that he actually called me a you know what in his sleep. Do you think??? It is driving me a can't stop thinking ... what if he really thinks of me that way, i mean he's called me that before.. but playfully, even though i told him to stop, that i don't like it, but every once in a while when i feel like being mischevious and do something like tickle him, or drink the last of his pop, or something like that he looks at me atnd says "Devil B*#ch!" How endearing hay?

But if some one says something like that in their sleep, how do you know if they are really saying what they believe is true, or if its just some crazy dream where i did something to really pee him off?? i don't know, anyone have any opinions on this?

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Heya,

 

I might not be of much help but I know I talk in my sleep through my family hearing me in the night. I talk about anything and everything, mainly containing peoples names I know.

 

Thing is I when I have been told of this in the morning I have no knowledge of it happening. I don't know the scientific reasons behind why we talk in our sleep but I have been known to threaten people in my sleep and I assure you I wouldn't and haven't done so.

 

Maybe its just a subcouncious thing that happens - like dreams. Just because you dream you can fly doesnt mean you can. In such, just because he said that in his sleep, doesn't mean he means it.

 

Hope that helps

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Yea, maybe he was talking about some one other than me. But damnit thats me, i hate that i always think of the negative right away, never even reason with wells and maybes, just doubts i hate that, some times when i think about it , i think i am seriously falling of the deep end "this time"

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Sleep talking is usually just surface thoughts, and seeing as your brain is asleep, those thoughts flit from subject to subject with no conscious control.

 

Your name, "I guess she isn't so bad", and the profanities were most likely the result of two or three different thought patterns, you shouldn't read too much into it. =)

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I wish that there was something that i could do to stop thinking like this, this is like an every day thing. Even the smallest things, such as this talking in sleep, lead me to believe that people are dishonest and have other reasons or motivations behind thier actions. Like take for instance, my Honey, i always think that he chose me for the wrong reasons and then i get bitter about it, when he has made it clear that he chose me because he wanted me! But my mind go else where and i start dwelling on the thoughts that he settled for me and didn't choose me as the better mate because of circumstances, then i brood on it, give him coldness and it causes problems! them he has to tell me over again that it is me that he wants to be with and not anyone else. My head is so stubborn! My negativity has a mind of it's own. I must be crazy.

LOL wow. Sorry i must have needed to get that out!

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Talking in your sleep means nothing! I talk in my sleep all the time! My mom said that when I was little she held a 10 minute conversation with me about talking puppies! My ex said I used to get into arguments with him about who left the fireplace on (we never lived anywhere where we had a fireplace) and other random stuff. MY current BF says I talk all the time but it's hard to understand me! He says as long as he agrees with everything I say, I shut up!

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My ex wife once designed a bridge in her sleep. While awake, she had difficulty programming a VCR. Although it sounded somewhat believable while she was talking when I actually paid close attention all her nocturnal mutterings were actually nonsensical. As another posted claimed her thoughts were certainly not a cohesive string.

 

I wouldn't let it bother you at all. As others have said I'm pretty sure it is likely totally meaningless and they were just random snippets of thought all strung together in no particular order.

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have you ever happened to look at a clock right after waking up from a dream and then been able to remember a certain time you noticed from BEFORE falling asleep?

 

You'll be shocked that what felt like an hour or two in a dream was actually only about 10 minutes. I'm not a dr. or anything, but based on that observation of mine, I would think that it's possible that even if he said these things consecutively, they might not be consecutive in his mind.

 

Maybe someone who knows more about dreams could confirm or dispute this.

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I wouldn't read anything into it.

 

Oddly enough, I've had to deal with something similar in the last week or so. Only, I was the one talking in my sleep.

 

Apparently, my husband got up to use the bathroom and when he came back to bed, I called him by the name of a former co-worker/guy I had a fling with before I met my husband. My husband loathes this guy for a number of legitimate reasons.

 

Anyway, I have no conscious recollection of this event, nor do I recall having any dreams that night. I don't like this guy at all anymore and if I ever cross paths with him again it will be too soon. My husband knows all this, yet he was still mighty upset with me over this incident. It took a lot of talking things through and explaining to him that I've been doing some work in therapy that's been centering around the time I left the job from hell where I met my former co-worker/fling. I'm processing through a lot of stuff from back then, so while I have been thinking about that person, it's not in any nice, friendly, warm & fuzzy sort of way. In fact, there's quite of bit of anger and disgust that I'm sorting through, but that's another story. But it took a couple of days to get this sorted out with my husband, and it wasn't pleasant for either of us....mostly because he was reading much more into it than was there.

 

I have a long history of mumbling, talking, laughing, singing in my sleep and not having any recollection of it. Sometimes, I even manage to wake myself up with all of this verbalizing...to the point of waking up mid-sentence and not knowing what the heck I was saying.

 

One time, I slapped my college bf in my sleep. I don't remember it. I apparently sat up & mumbled something...then he sat up to see if I was ok, and I turned to face him, lifted my hand and smacked him accross the face. He said he could tell I wasn't awake and told me about it the next morning. He didn't hold it against me, we had a laugh about it and dropped it.

 

So, from this side of things, to have someone upset with you for doing something that you didn't intentionally or consicously do, that you don't recall doing, and that most likely doesn't mean anything more than random electrical impulses in your brain is very frustrating. I liken it to being blamed for something you didn't do. I'm sure you can imagine what that's like, and I'm also sure that you wouldn't want to be put in that position. So, try to cut your bf some slack with this.

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I've tried to convince my partner that when I doze off on the couch sometimes I can actually hear myself snoring. Not quite the same thing I realize. I know when even partially awake I've said some terribly dopey things and on a couple of occasions I actually remember talking total gibberish, so it can certainly happen that way when I'm asleep I'm sure.

 

shes2smart, as for slapping your partner, isn't that more satisfying when you're awake? *winks* Hey, at least you could always claim in the future that you were asleep. Kinda like when the kids belt each other claiming it was a mosquito ...

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Yeah it was pretty foolish of me to put any thought whatsoever onto this talkin in his sleep thing. It just struck a chord because he calls me "Devil B*$ch some times when i'm playing around and he's in one of his cocky (can i say that?) moods. I really don't like that. But he's a good guy non the less (smiles).

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Hey Sherri,

 

No one seemed to pick this out from your post so I thought I may have a go!

 

Even the smallest things, such as this talking in sleep, lead me to believe that people are dishonest and have other reasons or motivations behind thier actions.

 

Hi Sherri, I can relate to you with this, sometimes you really have to believe that there is goodness within someone. If he has truly been there for you and metaphorically held your hand over a bridge that you've had to cross, then I'm sure he's in the relationship for the right reasons.

 

I mean another good point is that he doesn't seem to get upset when you do question him.

 

I think you should talk to him about your negativeness - maybe he can help you approach things with a little more optimism. My girlfriend certainly helps, and she does it really simply just by reassuring me every now and then (and me likewise aswell)! Just talk to him about it - approach it very carefully - and let him know that you have some insecurities that just need a little of his help. Remember communication is really good!

 

Oh DOn't worry about the talking in his dream - its all a subconscious thing. I'll tell you guys a funny story! I spat in my dream once - and I did the same in reality - and so I ended up spitting on myself!

 

So yeah don't worry about the dream!

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Thanks Hope is Everthing,

 

But he knows the insecuries i have and he gets furious when i doubt or question him. THat is one of the main problems in our relationship because he hurt me pretty ban in the beginning with his ex, and had wanted to contact her again as just friends.

I couldn't handle that being dumped again for his ex, i figured that is what would happen so i started to push him away and we fought about it for a long 3 months until he finally beat it into me that he only wants to be friends with her wants nothing more than to spend the rest of his life with me.

 

He does get furious when i doubt him, believe me. But underneath it all, he is a good man. Really. I am just scaared of being hurt again.

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