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my bf asked me for a break HELP!


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Me and my bf have been together nearly a year and a half and we love each otehr very much problem is over the last couple of months our fights have been getting progessivly worse to the point we nearly fight about everything from what to do together to the days we see one another etc. Last night he said to me that he needs a beak from me and asked me for 2 weeks and said at the end of that on sunday night we'll go out for tea and hope both of us will make it work. I wanna no if anyone has had this problem and how u managed to stay sane lol. I can bearly stand a night without him. Please advice needed!

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no its just him, i fight with my parents sometimes but nothing like with my bf. Dont get me wrong we still one another he just said. He's so confused with all the fights he said he just doesnt look forward to seeing me anymore because we always fight and he just wants i back the old way eg. When we were happy not fighting.

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My personal view is that I am rather cynical and suspicious of "breaks" because many people use them to try out someone else on the side while keeping the original person in reserve.

 

However, this is only 2 weeks, hardly enough to do much and it's with the intention of sorting out a specific problem, it might be worth a try but insist on the following rules:

 

1. This is a strict once-off and it will be the first and only "break"

 

2. It will not be extended. After the 2 weeks you get back together or split, no halfway, no mixed signals

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I agree w/ Momene. Break-taking is a fishy area in relationships. It's good to set some rules for it. If he ever asks for one again, I think you should refuse or leave the relationship.

 

Maybe you both need to set some ground rules for fighting. Some fighting is normal, and I think some fighting is actually healthy. But there are better ways to fight than others. There will always be disagreements. Depending on the content, fair fighting usually works them out.

 

I like rules, can you tell?

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I agree w/ Momene. Break-taking is a fishy area in relationships. It's good to set some rules for it. If he ever asks for one again, I think you should refuse or leave the relationship.

 

Maybe you both need to set some ground rules for fighting. Some fighting is normal, and I think some fighting is actually healthy. But there are better ways to fight than others. There will always be disagreements. Depending on the content, fair fighting usually works them out.

 

I like rules, can you tell?

 

Good rule is not to row before a car journey or while in a car.

 

Also don't do it when it's juste before bedtime.

 

What I think people should do (and I wish my wife thought this way) was to set aside a time to discuss the issue calmly.

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I completely understand what you're going through, as I am also in a similar situation. I completely 100% love my boyfriend, but just the other day, he told me he wanted to take a break. I didn't understand why we couldn't just stay together, slow things down, and work things out. He was just really sure that a break would help him come to some conclusions.. and I've had to go along with it. Otherwise.. I'm left with the option of breaking up, which I do not want. He wants the entire month of August to think... and to be honest.. I don't know if I'm gonna last. It's only been a few days and I am in so much pain from worrying about this. What is he going to decide?! Is my waiting all for nothing?! Basically.. what I've figured out.. and from the advice people have given me... Two weeks, isn't too bad.. I know it's tough.. but give him that time. Give him that space. If it's meant to be, he'll realize during all of this that he misses his time with you and misses the love you share. Don't call too much ( in fact, try not to.. ) because that shows him that you're respecting his wishes, which in turn will hopefully help him see what a great person you are, give him the time he needs to think & make him realize he'd like to continue the relationship. Hang in there, and I hope things work out for you!

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I normally think a break is another word for breakup... but in this case with the fighting maybe itll give you guys time to figure out why things are so rough... and how to fix them.

 

maybe you cant stand a night without him, but maybe the fighting is like the straw thats gonna break the camels back to him... might be what you need to save your relationship.

 

I would just make sure that this break wasnt a reason to see someone else, then enjoy your vacation.

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