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How do I stay strong when it hurts so much?


Fisch
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I got cheated on and dumped by the girl I was in love with last monday. We live 2 hours apart, but go to the same college during the school year. I didnt really notice many signals but one: My father was in Israel for a while and she kept asking if she was ok sounding almost guilty (she was too guilty to break it off in case he got hurt). She had me so sure of her love, she told me every day up until she dumped me. There was no buildup, no rocky time, she just called and said she loved someone else that she was confused and that it was unfair to stay with me (but somehow fair to go with her other guy). There were a few minor signals, but we live far apart and saw eachother only on the weekends-ish. In fact the week before that she had been in my town kissing me passionatly! It was one of her friends that I knew she had been hanging out with, I had asked about him a few times and she had always given off the impression that assured me that they were just friends, although she would deflect a bit sometimes. I was never really worried and very cool about the amount of time and things that they did together. My God was I wrong: they kissed, and their time together was dating not friendship. The answers I got to my questions were all lies. The day she did it, she had nothing to say, when I asked for an explanation she only said had tearfull and yet reluctant sorrys and that she didnt want to talk about it. When I asked her why how when she said that she didnt want to talk about it or that she couldnt put it into words. This girl has always acted like such a victim and I can only imagine the volumes she would be speaking of the injustice if she was in my position. After monday, I did not contact her all week. She has not attempted to contact me. On Sunday I called her to finish it all with dignity so I could move on and work out a few technicalities, she would not even pick up her phone. Not a word of kindness, sympathy, or explanation from the girl that told me she was so in love with me for so long. I trusted this person so much, and I always thought I was a good judge of character, but I was so dead wrong. Even the nicest people seem capable of treating other people in ways that they would not want to be treated themself. I am just so angry at the way that she lied and the fact that she is so sensitive when this type of thing happens to her, how can anybody be such a hypocrite? How can anybody that critisizes those who hurt in the world turn and do it so easily? I am so angry that I was too stupid to fall for such a weak minded person who would leave me for novelties. I am going to take a long time to get to know my partner and ensure that strong feelings are there next time. Divorce rates at 50% this is a nightmare! Not to mention all the nightmares that this breakup has caused me. How do I stay strong when I am so angry and sad. I know that I have to move on, and I will never take her back. But it can be hard to fight sometimes. Rant over, soften my heart. Thank you enotaloners

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Hey, for the future, could you please paragraph your posts, reading the infamous Wall of Text gives me a headache, and will turn some people off reading it at all =)

 

People who play the victim the most are - in my experience - also some of the most selfish people. Stay strong, you don't need that again. The pain will pass with time, stay strong in the knowledge that you did the best you could to keep the relationship together, and that you did the right thing.

 

And don't give up.

 

I hope this helped =)

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You were right to trust her, if you were the jelous type you would of pushed her away anyway. You did nothing wrong and you know that, unfortunately you got hurt, the only thing you can do i'm afraid is move on and learn from this experience, this will make you a stronger person and you will learn so much from it. I always tend to go for a girl that is shy, I believe they are less likely to cheat because they don't get into flirty situations etc. I could be wrong.

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I'm sorry for what happened to you...but you know that the more you loved them the stronger the pain you feel when it's over. Its summer time and take this time away from her and heal, move on w/ out her in your life, and make life for yourself better.

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