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Love... it exists, right?


Kevin T
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Namely romantic love. Sometimes I wonder if love is something they spoonfeed to us from the time we're toddlers. You know, the handsome, dashing prince comes in on a white stallion to gallantly swipe the beautiful, long-haired princess off her feet. And most people, I presume, all grow up with this vision or expectation of what constitutes love.

 

But then we grow up, and inevitably find this is (obviously) completely false. We go through break-ups, abuse, cheating and affairs, divorce and relationships of "convienence." But people out there do end up getting together... right? I mean, somewhere in this world there ARE people who truly do fall in love and actually find happiness within the companionship of another person, and end up staying together, through thick and thin... right?

 

Or is this just an illusion that has deluded me, from watching too many movies and TV shows?

 

At times, I really do wonder - not only if I'll ever have that kind of connection with another person (I thought I did before, but inevitably that house of cards came crumbling down as they all do), but also in general - does that kind of love even actually exist?

 

Or is it just a figment of our imaginations, made up and manufactured by the affection-seeking hearts of other lonely individuals? An idyllic, fairytale-like dream, without any basis in reality?

 

Can someone out there affirm that love actually is real, tangible and DOES exist?

 

(Note: I'm not referring to simply physical attraction or lust, that is something I am quite certain is real, as our species would soon die out without such a thing. I'm referring more to the emotional and intimate side of romantic love.)

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Yes LOVE does exist. True love .....I had with my husband for nearly 30 years from the time I first realized I was in love with him when I was 16 years old until his death when I was 46 years old.

 

If you have read any of my previous posts that related to my late husband, you will see that what we had was real love. I was most fortunate to have such a love in my life. However, as REN says, it is sometimes TAKEN from us in one way or another.

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Yes, love most definitely exists. I didn't believe in it myself a while ago...but I do now. It was there in my first relationship, it was there when someone I know was dying and unresponsive yet somehow felt the presense of her husband in the room, it's there when an old couple walks out of a theatre tenderly holding hands like they did when they first started dating many years ago, it's there when you look into someone's eyes and realize how happy you are being with that person... Oh yeah, it exists. I hope you find it someday!

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I believe it exists...but the sad thing is..that kind of love is not the stuff fairy tales are made of. The people who can sustain TRUE love are usually pretty grounded in reality and know that life is NOT always peachy. They know they may not feel attracted to their partner sometimes....but they don;t leave them because of it. The love you are referring to is DEFINETELY hard to come by......but not impossible. True love IS about dedication, patience, understanding..and sometimes sacrifice. So yes...love hurts.LOL

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Like I posted on another thread - I am reading "The Art of Happiness" by the Dalai Lama, and there is a chapter on that topic!

 

The synopsis is that romantic love, as defined by western society, just tends to make us feel more unhappy because it is held up as this big ideal, that if you aren't coupled, you aren't a complete person.

 

And that having relationships that are primarily centered on sexual attraction, and secondarily based on mutual respect, trust... these relationships are bound to fail eventually.

 

There are so many other people we can connect with, friends, family, co-workers, why place all your longings for togetherness and connection onto one romantic partner?

 

It is pretty much setting yourself up for disaster.

 

well, that's just my interpretation of the chapter. not his exact words.

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I'm a cynic, but have no doubt love is the greatest thing I've ever felt, seen or had.

Sure, love ends, but a really powerful love is so fulfilling it's worth the pain to have that time in the sun. To cry about love's loss is an insult to those who never had it.

I do go on....

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True the love doesn't end in a sense when someone dies. ,My husband died not quite three years ago and I will always hold a special love in my heart and in my thoughts for him.

 

THere are many times I sense the feelings of love that I received from him. But there is nothing like having that person here in the flesh to hold you, touch you, and show their love for you, even though you know that person still loves you , but they just can't project that to you now that they are gone. Gosh I Hope that made sense .

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Yes, it certainly does exist. And no, it certainly is not a fairytale of princesses, dragons and life-returning kisses, but it certainly IS wonderful - supportive, enriching, rewarding and a learning experience.

 

Personally, what you grow up seeing in fairytales is not the love I wanted for myself ever, to me, I always knew it was based on frail fantasies. The reality is so much better, because it really is REAL. It's about teamwork, interdepence, partnership. Not about naive knights rescuing silly girls whom got themselves involved with evil queens....what kind of power struggle would that be down the road!

 

It's not just a feeling, it's also the action involved - dedication, compassion, communication, respect, shared goals, values and compatibilities, mutual compromise, accepting one another for one another's complete self.

 

Other women can keep their towers and long tresses, and kingdoms of men competing for her hand....I will pick the real life love with my real life man (an engineer, not a knight!) any day

 

It's also pretty important you first find your biggest true love - the one for yourself.

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Like I posted on another thread - I am reading "The Art of Happiness" by the Dalai Lama, and there is a chapter on that topic!

 

The synopsis is that romantic love, as defined by western society, just tends to make us feel more unhappy because it is held up as this big ideal, that if you aren't coupled, you aren't a complete person.

 

And that having relationships that are primarily centered on sexual attraction, and secondarily based on mutual respect, trust... these relationships are bound to fail eventually.

 

There are so many other people we can connect with, friends, family, co-workers, why place all your longings for togetherness and connection onto one romantic partner?

 

It is pretty much setting yourself up for disaster.

 

well, that's just my interpretation of the chapter. not his exact words.

 

 

yay annie !

 

- you are brilliant !!

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I believe the love you talk about does exist. Im not actually sure if I have experienced it myself though. As a mother with 2 teenage sons I have tried to teach them how to treat a lady, how I would like to be treated...I am hoping that with these lessons my sons in giving respect and consideration, and genuinely caring and sharing their behaviour and feelings will be reciprated and returned. I pray I have done the right thing and I have not set them both up for the biggest and cruelest kick in the teeth ever.

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Wow. I was just about to post something VERY similar to this. I grew up watching romance movies and all those movies with happy endings. In all my relationships i would become frustrated when things werent perfect or happening like they do in the movies. I've always wanted to be in love like in the movies but ive come to realize that it probably isnt going to happen that way. I would fantasize about having a summer romance, kissing in the rain, having someone confess their undying love to me in an airport. All those things are wonderful but for the most part, make believe. I admit, people would be very lucky to find love like that but its rare so if you find it, hold on to it. No one is perfect and nothing is perfect. Love does exist, it just isnt always followed by a happily ever after..

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I experienced love twice and never wanted to let go. Unfortunately, my objects of affection did not feel the same. Yes, I believe love exsist in multible forms, from passionate love one has for their lover to the unconditional love a parent has for a child.

 

p.s.: awesome signature...very prolific.

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Nah, your perception of love is skewed because of your lack of skill in communicating with women and unwillingness to improve in this area. Obviously love is out there, but until you make the decision to change, it will elude you.

 

I could communicate all day with women and still not find love. I can't change who is single and who is not... Well, I suppose I COULD, but do I really want to break couples up just so I can be happy? That's contemptible, at best.

 

My perception of love is blurred, actually. Not sure if it really exists or not. Love itself, surely does, just not so sure about the whole 'romantic' aspect of it. I'd like to believe it's out there somewhere, but I am only doing so on faith; nothing more, nothing less.

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love does exist.

 

when we rouse for just a moment from dreaming and he kisses my shoulder, i am loved, and i love.

 

when i pluck a fuzzball from his shirt so he looks his best, i love, and i am loved.

 

when he calls and leaves a cute message, i am loved and i love.

 

when i give him space to play his video games, i love and i am loved.

 

love is respectful, affectionate, peaceful, passionate, vivid, even, and strong. it fills one with certainty and is an ever-present undercurrent through every moment of life. love is learning to love yourself and learning to accept that someone else can love you for who you are. love is finding endearment in the smallest actions and quirks of another person.

 

who knew that anyone could look so perfect as they sleep, or when they smile? who knew that so many words could be left unspoken and yet still understood?

 

love exists. i don't know if it lasts forever, but love definitely exists. i have been lucky -- we are going on our eighth month of utter perfection. time has flown so fast, and yet our bond already seems eternal.

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Yes Love does exist. I am 100% sure abt it and bet my life on it.

 

Wondering how i came to such a conclusion?

 

I love someone very dearly that eventhough i was shocked and disappointed when she told me that she have had sex once with someone not me when we were in serious relationship (During the time when we used to seriously discuss about our future together with her (our) kid from her previous marriage) I am still feeling alright and i still love her the same way i used to love her before she told me abt her one night stand. I am sure she loves me as much i do too otherwise she is one of the greatest performing artist of all times.

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