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Just had 4th date yesterday. Can I call her yet???


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I like to think in this case in terms of dancing. You seem hot for her, but how hot does she seem for you? You need to be careful not to be pushing things faster than she wants. If you move slower, no harm will be done. If you move too fast, you could blow it.

 

I'd say call tomorrow. But, if you do call, tonight, make it quick. No talking to her for an hour. You're better off having her want to see you again, not talking to her for a while. Fifteen minutes max. And have an agenda, ask her about something and tell her something you thought she might want to know, but nothing about you.

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I hate the rules of waiting!!!!!!!!! It always breaks the girl's heart because she thinks something wrong happened. It shows NO sign of desperation if you call her. I take it that things are going well since she agreed to having 4 dates with you.

CALL HER.

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Thanks. I think I'll call her soon. I do have one other question though. We both seem very shy. So far, the dates have been fun, but very casual. We hug at the end of the dates, and started kissing at the end of the third date. But other than that, we both seem afraid to make any sort of moves. I think she'd like me to, but she always looks sort of un-approachable as far as any form of touching goes. I'd like to talk to her about this, and try to break our walls of insecurity. How should I go about that?

 

Thanks

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oh yeah, she asked me to go to a local festival next weekend with her and her family...so I know she must like me, but why are we still so shy. I was going to bring flowers at the last date, but it was sunday, and the flower shops were closed. Should I bring them next time when I go out with her whole family, or wait till its just us again?

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Thanks. I think I'll call her soon. I do have one other question though. We both seem very shy. So far, the dates have been fun, but very casual. We hug at the end of the dates, and started kissing at the end of the third date. But other than that, we both seem afraid to make any sort of moves. I think she'd like me to, but she always looks sort of un-approachable as far as any form of touching goes. I'd like to talk to her about this, and try to break our walls of insecurity. How should I go about that?

 

Thanks

Maybe that last post is unclear. What I mean is that I have yet to hold her hand, or even put my arm around her during a movie.

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Don't talk about it. Just bust the move. You're the guy, you lead.

 

But, take it slow. Turn it on and off.

 

My simplest move, the hand bump, leads to hand holding. Walk someplace with her walking next to you. Make sure your hands touch, then move away. Touch, move away. She how she reacts. If she seeks to have your hands touch again, then great, let them, keep touching let the contact linger for longer and then just grad her hand after they have been in contact for more than a half of a second. Your body langauge has asked the question, if she wants to, and she said yes. I might use this with some interruptions too.

 

Things you do should have an on and off switch, let her know you want to, or do something with ther, then stop and give her breathing room. Kiss her, then stop for a few minutes, use the bathroom, get a drink, etc. and when you come back, take time moving back in for more. Nonstop, pushing for mroe will scare her off. Asking, discretely with body language, will get you yes answers.

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I hate the rules of waiting!!!!!!!!! It always breaks the girl's heart because she thinks something wrong happened. It shows NO sign of desperation if you call her. I take it that things are going well since she agreed to having 4 dates with you.

 

CALL HER.

 

Ditto that. Those silly games are for people who aren't secure enough in their own desirability and what they bring to the table. If you really like someone and the chemistry is terrific, make that person feel good by letting them know you're thinking of them. That's exactly what a call does.

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My current boyfriend (of over three years) harassed me when we first started dating! Honestly ... he "claimed" that he wasn't interested in a serious relationship, so I continued dating other men and didn't call him.

 

This is the point that he started calling EVERY day, sometimes several times per day, showing up at my apartment, surprising me with crap, etc. I loved it because I really liked him.

 

What I'm trying to get at here, is that if this girl LIKES YOU, she'll totally love it if you call her. There is no point in playing games if you're both already into each other. The only time I would suggest to stay aloof for a little while, is if you were unsure whether or not the person was actually interested (which she seems to be - you've been on 4 dates!). And even this isn't what I would consider a "game", but just being safe and going with the flow.

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