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Sex with best friend's brother...hmmm


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Ok...I need some help. I had sex with my best friend's brother last night. She is really upset with me and I am not sure why.

 

He had been coming on to me all night and when I said something to her about it...she pretty much gave me the green light to go ahead. I wonder if I took what she said wrong...I don't want to go into the whole long drawn out story, but I may have to...lol

 

Anyway, is there some unwritten rule about best friend's sleeping with brothers that I dont know about???

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While I can only guess that you and her brother are both adults and don't need express "permission" to have sex from your friend, I can sort of see why it might be weird for her. Knowing that neither of you want a relationship, this encounter may place strain on your friendship with her, seeing as this is her brother and she may have to hear about it from both sides.

 

BUT.... I think if you are really good friends, you should be able to get past this together.

 

Why not give her a few days to cool off and think about this, and then contact her? Tell her you are sorry that what you and her brother chose to do upset her so much, but that she is your friend and you don't want to lose her over this. Ask if you can work it out and see what she says.

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It would kind of creep me out if my friend and my bro did the nasty. I mean who wants to picture that? Eeeewww...

 

But still, not really worth being that pissed about. I'm pretty sure your friend isn't gonna want to hear all the gorey details about it, like you might if it was a different guy.....describing stuff like size, or stamina, or whatever, I mean Eeeewww.... who'd want to hear about their brother that way??!! No way.

 

You did push the boundaries and green light or no, you must now be the one to extend the olive branch.

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Yes, I am positive that she is upset about what happened between us and not about something else. I have contacted her telling her I was sorry and that I didn't want to lose her over this. I haven't heard anything yet, and it's driving me crazy. I don't see what I did was wrong, but she does, and right now that is all that matters.

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I really think our friendship is over. I am going to just post her reply to an email I sent her.

 

See mary the thing about it is.. I feel like you disrespected our friendship... it must not have meant very much for you

to have done that... that is just a line that you don't cross. I would never get with your brother.

I mean if you and shaun had been dating it would be different.. It pisses me off.

 

Now it will always be awkward between us.. and of course you and shaun. Shaun already asked that I not invite you over if he is home..

I mean.. not to hurt your feelings or anything.. but do you see what it has caused? Now I mean you can't come to the house without

one of yall feeling awkward.. or even me. I don't know. Lets give it some time. That really hurt me Mary, I would have expected something like that out of Holli... but not you, and not to keep on saying this.. but holli wouldn't have ever slept with shaun, I don't care what anyone says.. she wouldn't have done that.. because there is a line that friends have.. you don't sleep with their men, present or X and you don't mess with their families.

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OK, so you know she's hurt because it is indeed already becoming awkward for her to be in the middle, since her brother is requesting that you not be allowed over when he's home.

 

She did say that she would give it some time and see if things cool off though, and that is a good sign.

 

I would give her that time. Apologize again, and hope that your friendship is strong enough that you two can move past this, and maybe even in the distant future have a good laugh over it.

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Honestly, no I didn't think things would become awkward. I guess I am stupid or something. I saw it as strictly sex. He needed it, and I was available. I was obvously WAY wrong.

 

Do you really think it's that simple?

 

Hypothetical scenario: If your friend had just broken up with a boyfriend (Joe) and was heartbroken over it. Joe comes to you and says he needs sex. So you give it to him, simply because he 'needs' it? No concerns for how that might affect your friendship?

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Honestly, no I didn't think things would become awkward. I guess I am stupid or something. I saw it as strictly sex. He needed it, and I was available. I was obvously WAY wrong.

 

You probably weren't thinking alot when this all happened because you were drinking and so was he. Perhaps this is a wakeup call that you need to cut back a bit on the amount of drinks that you have when you go out, so that you will be able to use some forethought and the best judgement when you get in these types of situations.

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It was actually the other way around. He used me. He hadn't had sex in a while and I was the only woman there that was available and I was rather drunk.

 

So you are saying that your judgement was not impaired by being drunk?

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It's actually not the alcohol that is the problem, it's the sex. I am so "shocked" when a man wants to have sex with me, that I don't think about who it will hurt or who it will effect.

 

Maybe for whatever reason you don't get asked for sex alot. Whatever that's kind of beside the point.

 

I'm not meaning to ride you, but you just seem to be absolving yourself of any responsibility for your own actions, because of lack of opportunities. Lack of opportunities still wouldn't make it ok to, for instance, screw over your friend.

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OH I dont know. I can blame him, her, me, alcohol, sex, whatever...it doesn't change the fact that I obviously did something wrong. I guess I will have to be miserable until she forgives me, which I don't think is going to happen.

 

I know what I did was wrong in her eyes. I now know that it is wrong to sleep with your best friend's relatives. I personally wouldn't have a problem with it. As a matter of fact, I had a really close friend that did sleep with my brother and I didn't have a problem with it.

 

Anyway, thanks for listening. I can't undo what was done. I can't appologize any more. I have asked for forgiveness and I hope she will someday forgive me...

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