Ex with his new girlfriend...to leave or not to leave?

[readytoChoose]

Just ran into an ex with his new girlfriend (we broke up in February).I'm very confused - i have no romantic feeling towards my ex whatsoever. I'd never want us to have a relationship again, there is no physical attraction, and i no longer miss him, and yet this one did a number on me. I felt like i couldn't take another breath. We've been in a relationship for 3 years, living together for almost 2 (he moved to a different town after about 6 month of us dating and i went to live with him a year later). Break-up was my initiative, although i have a feeling my ex was doing everything in his power to drive me to it. It was very traumatic for me - i felt, and continue to feel used for a variety of reasons (we counitued to live together for some time after the end of things).

 

A couple of month after oficial "break" i found out he was dating someone he met a year before our relationship ended. They worked together and i met her a few times. Now, i always felt my ex spoke of that person in a very particular way, and pretty much had a sense that there were some emotions on his part. I even used to joke that he had a crush on that woman. Go figure I- it seems he's been plotting that one for about a year. Still it was a bit of a shock, since he still claimed to "love me" and "have a hard time seeing me".

 

He seems different with her - takes her places he used to hate when we were together (nothing i did could make him excited about going!). In any case, here's the punch-line: i have an opportunity to take this amazing job with the same company my ex and his new girlfriend work for, and I'm wandering if i could handle it. This is a small town, and before the offer i was considering moving alltoghether as to avoid negative flashbacks and run-ins. My ex will have to be moving to a different state (they may do long-distance, who knows), while she'll be staying at her present job.

 

Is taking that attractive offer a good idea, considering I'm seriously doubting my ability to ignore what happened?

 

thank you kindly

[iamteddybearfeelmecuddle]

Since you haven't tried it yet, maybe you should take the job and see how things go. If it turns out that things really are too weird, or hampering your ability to flourish, then you still have the option of moving elsewhere if you want.

[readytoChoose]

Thank you for the advice, iamteddybearfeelmecuddle,

 

Unfortunately it's not so easy as the job requires a year contract i won't be able to break-(

[DN]

Would you see her every day if you were to take the job?

 

Maybe she would also relocate to where he is?

[iamteddybearfeelmecuddle]

Is it guaranteed that your ex is moving? How soon?

 

Anyway, I understand where your coming from. Sometimes exes have, or create, illusions that you're still into them, when in fact you're not.

 

His current GF may be jealous of you and spread rumors about you. But things might be ok, and they might just be mature about it. If you take the job, I think you should make an effort to be friendly with the new girl, maybe even act like you're glad they're together, they're a 'better fit' or something.

[readytoChoose]

One could hope, but it's not very likely. I think she's bound by the contract too, at least for another year.

 

My ex however is definitely moving! I think being friendly with the new girl is a great advice, too. How much do you think it's going to cost me though? She doesn't seem to be the type to rumor much, which is more then i can say about some of the people who work there . They were "mutual friends" (e.g. his friends) and are always curious "how i feel" about one thing or the other relating to the situation.

[iamteddybearfeelmecuddle]

Just react like "we just grew apart", or "we just weren't a match", but I wish him well. Generic, short sweet, crap like that.If they ask specific questions, or try to get your opinion about the new girl, just say it's none of my business. It will bore the rumor-mongers so much, they'll look elsewhere for juicy gossip.