On-again-off-again ex bf wants to come visit

[dontknowwhattodo]

My ex bf and I live in diffirent countries and he mentions that he wants to come visit. Besides, he keeps hinting that he wants me to move back to where he lives (which is not likely to happen). We haven't been dating other people since the break up and have been talking rather regularly since he called it quit a few months ago.

 

I would like to think it is a good sign that he wants to come visit. But knowing that he will pull away again if I become too attached to him is not a trill to think of. He used to do this before and we actually broke up twice during our time together. Our break ups were a heart-wrenching for both of us but they were not bad. We do care for each other. We are good friends. It is just we cannot be together and I come to the point to accept it. By the way, we are in our 30's.

 

What do I do about his visit? Let him come?

[DN]

If you live in different countries and neither of you is willing to relocate - how a relationship work?

 

Why set yourself up to be hurt again?

[dontknowwhattodo]

I am willing to relocate for a committed relationship. I guess it is his call. I am not moving back to nothing.

[DN]

Then I think you need to tell him that so there is no misunderstanding. If he agrees to visit based on seriously exploring that possibility then it may be worth giving it a chance. There is a risk of disappointment but there always is in relationships.