Beauty=happy?

[Miss M]

Beauty=happy?

A link between beauty and happiness?

No, there is no connection, just like there is no connection between money and happiness. People who think beautiful people are happy just because of their beauty are simply projecting happiness onto that person, as if assigning it to that person, but that doesn't mean happiness is really there. Besides, assigning happy feelings to someone else based on your own logic isn't even ... um... logical.

 

And intellectually giving a list of reasons why a beautiful person is happy still doesn't create actual happiness in that person, no matter how many reasons one might come up with for it to exist.

 

Does having arms and legs make someone happy? A miserable person without limbs might be totally convinced it does, but the person with all limbs intact who is unhappy knows there's no connection. Does having teeth make someone happy? An unhappy toothless person might think so, but the person with a full set of teeth knows there's no connection. It's the same with beauty.

[mokajava]

for the record, I meant in general....obviously we cannot look at every single beautiful person and know if they're happy or not, it's such a personal matter.

 

But, in general, I believe beauty does HELP in happiness, because how else do you explain the flock of ppl (especially women) that run to get all kinds of plastic surgery, and then come out and say: "oh, before I was ugly and I was miserable, but now I have an active social life and I am MORE confident in dating, at work, have tons of friends, etc" i mean, this didn't result out of their amazing personality, no, this is a direct result of THE WAY THEY NOW LOOK. If this wouldn't work, then ppl wouln't have surgeries, because the altering results (for the better) wouldn't exist. It's as simple as that.

 

I just think that people that say that beauty has NOTHING to do with happiness most of all HOPE it's so, because then that would mean that happiness is unfairly given to such a tiny percentage of the population, especially when they did nothing to earn it. It is MUCH more comforting to think you have to EARN your happiness and WORK for it.

 

But....I totally agree with STENDHAL.

[Miss M]

But, in general, I believe beauty does HELP in happiness, because how else do you explain the flock of ppl (especially women) that run to get all kinds of plastic surgery, and then come out and say: "oh, before I was ugly and I was miserable, but now I have an active social life and I am MORE confident in dating, at work, have tons of friends, etc" i mean, this didn't result out of their amazing personality, no, this is a direct result of THE WAY THEY NOW LOOK. If this wouldn't work, then ppl wouln't have surgeries, because the altering results (for the better) wouldn't exist. It's as simple as that.

Hey mokajava, I still respectfully disagree. And I'm not sure if it's still common practice, but one of the first things plastic surgeons used to do was an extensive psychological evaluation to determine whether the one wanting surgery was trying to use it as a "fix" for unhappiness when counseling would be the better solution. And I find it alarming how many now opt for plastic surgery thinking it's the solution for happiness. That's just my opinion, but I don't think plastic surgery should be used that way.

 

I just think that people that say that beauty has NOTHING to do with happiness most of all HOPE it's so, because then that would mean that happiness is unfairly given to such a tiny percentage of the population, especially when they did nothing to earn it. It is MUCH more comforting to think you have to EARN your happiness and WORK for it.

I'm obviously one of those who says it's not connected to beauty, but I definitely don't say it because I "HOPE" it's like that. It's simply what I feel is true, not what I "hope."

 

I also don't think of happiness in terms of something that has to be "earned" or "worked for," and neither do I ever think of it as something that is "unfairly given" to anyone. I tend to think of happiness as a condition of emotional well-being, not something to be withheld until someone shows evidence of having "earned" it. Again, I could use the analogy of limbs and teeth. Do I have to "earn" and "work for" my teeth and arms and legs? Were they "unfairly given" to me while others were deprived? I think of happiness as an inalienable right, like a state of emotional equilibrium.

[bulletproof]

People that have had plastic surgery think that they are happier, and that is a different thing. I think what it comes down to is what your definition of happiness is. And what your definition of beauty is. There is a good chance that the person who had the surgery DOES have a different personality after the fact. The person will have more confidence, and feel better, and that is projected to the world. Positivity tends to trump everything, I've noticed.

 

All happiness is relative, on some level. I would guess that being beautiful and getting whatever one wants as a result doesn't build up very much resilience. Because that time will come when the beautiful person is denied something, and that can be hard to handle if he/she is used to getting everything. In other words, while it may be true that society reacts differently to the more attractive members, it doesn't mean that those people appreciate it or are any happier as a result.

[MI_Shell]

I think that being able to appreciate beauty can make you happy, eg the beauty of a flower, rainbow or bird. Not to just have a limited view of beauty but to also see the beauty of the soul, the good inside people can make them more beautiful than a cosmetic surgery junkie.

[Miss M]

Wow Sheyda, you said all the things I was thinking but was too weary too write. I guess I've also gotten tired of telling people what seems sooo obvious. How the heck is an outward appearance supposed to make someone feel happy on the inside when your life is a torture? That's a fantasy people have, but it's not logical in the real world.

 

Now, to follow what Sheyda wrote, imagine a tortured but beautiful girl like that who goes out into the world and finds there are people everywhere who think her life is easy because of her beauty, and then they decide it's their life's mission to even the score. Yeah, it's a confusing thing to be miserably suffering just like everybody else, and then to unexpectedly encounter envy, jealousy, hostility (rocks upside the head) because yet another person thinks you're privileged and need to be brought down a notch. Or how about one comment I've often heard, "if someone who looks like you is without a boyfriend, then there REALLY must be something wrong with you." Yeah, that's a "nice" self-esteem boost when you're feeling down and out.

 

Also one of the reasons an attractive woman can seem like a snob, is because she might not like hanging around people who can't get beyond their fantasies (or anger) about her external beauty. It's no fun hanging out with people who think you should feel/be a certain way (happy) just because of how you look on the outside. Yep, there are people who actually withhold appropriate sympathy and affection. And some even think a beautiful woman's pain and tears are always invalid because her outward appearance should be all she needs to sustain and uplift her.

 

And ironically the men who don't get it seem to be the ones who are MOST interested in an attractive woman, and that is yet another reason for her to be UN-happy. What a sorry disappointment she is to him when he finds out she has no special magic powers after all.

[mokajava]

wow, very insightful view there....

 

thx for posting, this is what the forum is about. Sharing our experiences.