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Hey, I am completely lost in this whole relationship thing.

I have a "thing" for one of my coworkers, my age.

I asked if he had a significant other, and he doesn't, so

of course I wanted to ask him to do something. When I asked

if he wanted to go to a movie with me & some friends he said he might

have to work & then when I came in, he said he did. I thought he

might be interested in me because he's always looking at me, and

once I even got a smile from accross the room. However, he won't

talk to me, even though he talks to all my other coworkers.

He laughs with them & everything, but I can't get hardly two words

out of him. If I ask him a question he always just answers it in one word

and then walks away. I don't know what's up!



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Hi there,


Welcome to eNotalone!


Well, it could be he is shy. But he knows you are interested. Based on his ACTIONS, he is not interested in you in that way. IMO, when a guy is interested, he will at least talk. I would keep your options open with others. Hang in there. There are plenty of fish in the sea.

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I have to agree with kellbell on this one. Guys (typically) suck at subtlety. If he was really interested, you'd KNOW it. We're pretty blatant about stuff like that (unlike some women I know).


Forget him and move on. ALSO, another note, I have to advise against relationships with co-workers. I don't mean friendships, that's great, and it's nice to have a buddy around the office to chit-chat with. But romance at work is trouble, take my word on it. If you were a guy, I'd use the old cliche, "Don't dip your pen in company ink." But you're not, so...

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Company policy is that we're allowed to date co workers as long as they are not in a higher position than us (manager). What confuses me is that he will talk to everyone else. Why? I'm tempted to ask if he wanted to hang out when he was free, that way I could see whether he was interested at all, or just used work as an excuse. Any advice?

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Based on my experience with shy guys and the reading I have done on the shy people part of this forum and from articles, I would say this guy is interested but just very shy. The fact that he talks to everyone else but not you but yet catches your eye and smiles, and wants to see you but can't seem to make the move, is a clear indication that he is shy. Since you have already asked him out, the ball is in his court. If he can't overcome his shyness, there is nothing you can do.

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well ok im going to go against what everyone has said here, i myself was once a shy guy and my actions towards girls i liked were pretty much the same as that, the thing is if i understand this correctly he may think that you are out of his 'league' i know that i was like that, ok now for the advice, whilst at work just ask for small things like say you forgot something like a pen, ask to borrow his, if you are going to get a soda, ask if he would want one, just try to find excuses to have lil conversations with him, get him to trust you and talk to you, just take baby footsteps and hopefully he will see that he does have a chance.


then again its been a long time since i overcame my shyness so im a bit out of touch so take what i said with a pinch of salt.

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The only red flag to this is that he's put you on a pedestal and sees you as a goddess to be worshipped than someone he can share an equal relationship with. He's in awe of you. How do I know? I was him many times, many years ago. Just suggest a movie with just the 2 of you and show that you're approachable. I think I might need a bridesmaid's dress after all!

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