Feeling lonely

[Zack85]

Hey everyone,

 

I've been feeling very lonely and depressed for the last few weeks/months, and I'm not even really sure why, and what to do about it. University is a good source for continual stress, and I've never had a lot of friends, but enough close friends who I can talk to about things. I don't think I'd feel any better if I simply had more friends, well maybe a little better, but I don't think it'd fix the lonely feelings. Like I said, I don't really know why I feel lonely, I don't have much interest in getting to know a lot more people, and besides the level of friendship I usually want from someone is unrealistic - Preferably I'd want to have a lot of friends where I can talk to them, and them to me, about everything, but most people aren't even like that... I can talk more about any of this is anything wants to ask questions.

 

The main reason I'm posting this is because I don't know what to do to make myself feel better about things, if I did I could actively work towards it. I've seen psychologists plenty of times but most of the time our discussions end up on other aspects of my life.

[DN]

What interests, hobbies do you have? If 'none' then you should develop some, preferably activities that bring you into contact with other people. For instance, I have met many interesting people and made good friends through my involvement in community theatre.

[Zack85]

Most of my interests and hobbies are antisocial... I don't think I've ever had a passion for anything that lasted more than 1/2 a year. I've thought about trying to find hobbies to get involved in so I at least have things to talk about with other people, but I've kept putting it off, I should try and think about that some more.

 

In any case, I meet plenty of people through university, and while I've made friends with a few, I rarely have any interest in getting to know others any better.. I don't know if that interest is something I can actively change.

[DN]

Yes - you can change it. You just make the decision to do it and go ahead.

 

The only person stopping you - is you.

[thursday]

Maybe you shouldn't change it at all. It's good if you can feel okay when on your own, I don't have much friends either. A couple of weeks/months/years back I felt lonely too. It's really nothing to worry about. I like being myself lately. I like the friends I have & enjoy the time being with them, but I'm also letting 'new' people in my life.

 

I'm doing fine now. How come? Well, my ex who I have been with for 2.5 years banned me out of her life Forever (I do mean as friends) and she doesn't care at all In fact, she is happy with this! THAT caused myself to think: "why should I have many friends/close friends/girlfriends, in the end they will most likely turn your back to you!" I'm just taking things as they come in life, don't want to force anything. I am being happy with what I have (friends/family, health, wealth..), who I am & who I will become.

 

btw: If it's really making you feel bad, just try some new things, doesn't matter if it's something social or antisocial. It might just be the feeling of being bored at times & thinking other peoples lifes are so much better because they are oh so popular & oh so busy all the time! Don't care too much about this, don't let other people influence the way you want to live! You are making your life, not others!

[Zack85]

Yes - you can change it. You just make the decision to do it and go ahead.

 

The only person stopping you - is you.

 

I can't help it if most people - because of their personality, hobbies and interests - don't seem as if they'd make for good friends. Though I guess there's no harm in trying to make friends with everyone anyway, to be comprehensive...

 

And thursday, thanks for your reply.

 

Even though I am introverted and keep to myself, I wish I didn't, I'd love to be one of those social and oh so popular people, I'll take your advice and try to find something new to do in life to see if it's just boredom. I guess I'm jealous of more popular people either way, which I'll need to get over one way or another.