I'm mean

[redrose85]

Okay, so my bf and I have a great relationship, and he always says I do more for him than I could ever know, and I'm the greatest, all that good stuff, etc... but I just got to thinking, what do I REALLY do for him? We are really compatible and have the whole you scratch my back, I'll scratch yours mentality, and we have a great equality, and never feel the need to fight our roles in the relationship. (he tends to take more care of me because I'm the woman, and that's just how we are) but tonight got me thinking. I'm currently really stressed out because my room-mate/landlord and I are not getting along, it's a very strained environment, and I guess it got to me more than I knew. Anyways, we were driving back to my place, and I found myself picking on my boyfriend, just being kind of mean and I could tell he was getting annoyed. I thought for a moment that we were actually going to part ways being annoyed/angry with each other, but he seems to know that it's never about him when I'm upset, unless it IS something he's done, which is rare. Anyways, once again he knew this, and dragged it out of me. And though he made me feel better, I wonder how he can put up with my behaviour. I am getting better at letting him know when I am upset and why, but it's been a rough week and this kind of stress got me physically ill. I just feel bad, knowing I treated him like that. I just feel like he is the one that keeps this relationship so good, like if he wasn't so damn good to me, I'd probably subconsciously destroy it if he wasn't so patient and kind. Can anyone relate?

[iamteddybearfeelmecuddle]

I wouldn't be too hard on yourself, it doesn't sound at all like you are walking through your relationship without a conscious... He probably has his moments too...that's part of a relationship is to allow your partner to not be perfect at all times..

[itsallgrand]

I relate. Seems like my guy has done more 'putting up with irritation' from me, than the other way around.

 

Be happy you have found someone who cares for you, has patience and kindness, and cuts you some slack.

 

And, now that you are aware of how you tend to 'take things out on him', why not just work on new ways of expressing your feelings and such?

 

No one is perfect, we all have our moments. But personal improvement is always a great thing.

 

How beautiful, when you think about it! Having a bf who can help you become the best person you can be.

[Cyberchick]

Maybe you are testing him in a way, to see if he will stick around? I do that with my bf as will, when I feel insecure about my role in it and how on earth he puts up with my crap. He like your bf is incredibly patiet and loving and I don't always feel I am. So I test him to see if he'll walk. He hasn't. Yet. Thank God.

 

I guess all you can do is choose not to pick on him and be mean to him next time you feel stressed or insecure or you are not doing enough for him. Apologize and vow to behave better. Try to find a different way to deal with your stress --- talk to him about it in a frank open manner. You already said you are andthat's great. Keep it up.

 

Don't be hard on yourself. I can tell you love him and you didn't mean any harm.

[Momene]

You should try not to dump your frustrations on your nearest and dearest. It really doesn't help one bit.