Jump to content

6 months since breakup

dishrag

By dishrag
in Breaking Up Advice

Recommended Posts

dishrag Enthusiast

dishrag

Posted
Posted

Daregveda's post reminded me. It's been 6 months since my breakup. I feel very bad for him as I had hoped that things would get better. My hat is off to you, friend. But, I have to report good news on my end.

 

I got to admit that NC was the best thing I ever learned on this forum! You guys that helped me, because you've been through it, are the best. I have moved on, and on, and on.

 

I don't miss coming home to a person that doesn't care about my feelings. I don't miss working my butt off trying to convince someone that I'm aware of my shortcomings and have made significant changes. I don't miss being scared that she is out with another guy. I don't miss any of these feelings.

 

I have proved to myself that the changes I made are long-lasting and for me, not just something I did for her. I was able to put aside a lot of things that made me an undesirable person in a relationship. I am more calm, accepting of the ups and downs in life, capable of not getting too uptight or upset when things don't always go my way. I'm happy when I come home at the end of the day. I spend time working out, talking with friends on the phone, sharing a meal. I share my time with others instead of hogging it all for myself. I'm open to hearing their stories and don't boast when I tell mine. It feels good to give. It also feels good to receive.

 

Others have really enjoyed their time with me just as much as I've enjoyed my time with them. I'm glad I can make people smile! It feels good to get back in that kind of way. I really became happy with my new self. I chuckle from time to time that my ex really didn't stick around to experience this and she must really be frustrated with her new love. I say this because she told me that they argue and she gets upset with him often. I'm glad it's him and not me. I'm much happier without that in my life.

 

Yes, a decade of marriage is a serious thing, but when people change (and they do) that time in the past is just that, time in the past. You can't get back what someone doesn't want to give you. Letting go, initiating NC and moving on are hard to do but well worth it.

 

Someone I've become quite close with over the past 3 months told me that NC would have been the best way to get my ex back. I asked why? Well, NC means that person is being rejected. Typically, when someone is rejected, it is a downer. They don't like it. They want things to change. They want to turn around. I never thought of it this way, but that person is right.

 

In the midst of getting some things from the house transferred to my ex's car several months ago, she cried while telling me that she thinks I never want to talk to her again. I told her, "Pretty much." It really saddened her. She really wanted to be friends. I can't be friends with someone I don't trust. Pretty simple. I'm worth more to myself happy and content than I would be with that nonsense back in my life.

 

I just hope that my story can help those that are going through it now, 6 months after I've gone through it. I do wish that you all can make things work for that rocky relationship. But, if you can't, NC and the great people on this forum are the things that will help you keep your sanity and get through it!

Link to comment
dishrag Enthusiast

dishrag

Posted
  • Author
Posted

Thanks, Hope, for remembering me and posting!

 

need2bme, I love your attitude. I'm also very glad I could help in some way!

 

DN, ok nosenheimer! Let me caveat this by saying that without this someone in my life, I'd probably feel exactly as I do right now. With that said, this someone that I met is exactly the OPPOSITE of my ex, in EVERY way, even when things were perfect between us. This really put a lot in perpsective for me. One thinks one will never be close to someone again because they will always be looking for the things they loved about their ex. Hmmm, one would be a fool if they were looking for just that. There's so much more to be discovered out there.

Link to comment
  • 4 years later...
dishrag Enthusiast

dishrag

Posted
  • Author
Posted

It's been 5 years since my breakup. I don't know why, but I decided to come back and see what I last posted and can't believe it's been that long ago.

 

Last time I posted I was in a semi-relationship with someone but it went nowhere. Shortly after that break-up, which was easy to do, I met a wonderful woman. She is sweet, caring, and we get along much better than anyone else I've been in a relationship with. She went through the same thing as me, her ex left her, and she wasn't really looking for anyone, until a mutual friend introduced us. After a few dates I realized that I was with someone I could truly be in sync with.

 

Since then, we've gone on several vacations together, and learned that the more time we spend together, the more relaxed and in-sync we were. A road trip with someone usually turns into aggravation, but not with the two of us. We consistently spend time doing things that we both enjoy, which has turned out to be dancing. We take dance lessons together and frequent dances where other couples always say we look so in love. It's really awesome!

 

My ex has tried to contact me 4 or 5 times over the years. I do not reply and will never reply. She married the guy that she left me for. She angers me when I think about her so I try to avoid thinking about her at all. I do well 99.99% of the time. I'm so glad the person that I was so attached to is out of my life. I wouldn't ever imagine feeling that way 5 years ago.

 

Anyway, hello to all my old friends on here! I hope you are ALL doing well! And, to the new people, please don't give up hope that opportunity will come and things will look up. If NC doesn't fix your relationship, it will fix you! Changing that Contacts entry on your phone to DoNotAnswer makes a world of difference. Good luck!

Link to comment
dishrag Enthusiast

dishrag

Posted
  • Author
Posted

Thanks so much for the nice comments. Trust me, it DOES get better. Fix you and you'll be the perfect catch for someone you actually deserve. That's really what it comes down to, and this forum is the best support system you will find.

 

I feel like I should post a pic of the two of us together, all dressed up at a hangar dance...

 

image removed

Link to comment
lia86 Apprentice

lia86

Posted
Posted

OMG! What a wonderful story! And what a great picture!! When I read the title of this post and saw you were six months out of your BU, I wanted to reply and reach out to you b/c I'm at six months too. I didn't even realize it was from 2006 until you said you had come back on here to view your last post...

 

What an AMAZING thread this turned out to be! Thank you, dishrag! You really, really inspired me tonight, and I'm sure many other ENA-ers as well. You have no idea how bad I needed to read your stuff, from today and from five years ago. You guys look really, really happy.

 

Thanks again!

Link to comment
Destiny2112 Enthusiast

Destiny2112

Posted
Posted
Thanks so much for the nice comments. Trust me, it DOES get better. Fix you and you'll be the perfect catch for someone you actually deserve. That's really what it comes down to, and this forum is the best support system you will find.

 

I feel like I should post a pic of the two of us together, all dressed up at a hangar dance...

 

image removed

 

Great picture! You 2 look very very happy and in love!!! I'm very happy for you!!

 

Thanks again for coming back to ENA after all those years

Link to comment

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

Go to topic listing
×
×
  • Create New...