What to do with the memories?

[laboheme]

My boyfriend of two years and my first love just broke up with me on account of him not loving me the same way anymore...I'm heartbroken and want him back more than anything, but I know that I need to move on with my life. This may sound like a silly question...but what do I do with all the things that I've accumulated that remind me of him? I know that some people burn them...but I don't want to get rid of those memories. I mean...is it normal to want to keep a picture of your ex to look at twenty years down the road, just to remember who your first love was? Or the sweet cards that he wrote me...or a few personalized items of clothing that are very "me" and that I could easily wear any day...it just so happens that he was the one who gave them to me...

 

Do I just throw it all away? Or do I stash it in the back of my closet and look at it when the mood strikes me? Or maybe, who knows, in a few years we'll still be friends and look through that stuff together and reminisce about the good old days? Any advice?

[Jayar]

I threw all of mine down the garbage chute... No going in there to get it back, that's for sure! Smells like something died down there.

[Sally00]

Hey... I am very sentimental myself. I would keep all of the stuff. I would just put it all away in the back of the closet or something so I wouldn't have to accidentally run into it when I wasn't in the mood, you know? So I say... keep it. It can be nice to look back on, like you said.

 

My boyfriend actually has a shoebox with all of the things from his past relationships... cards, notes, etc. He has it right on his floor with all of the other crap LOL. He likes all the memories too.

[Aurian]

I sent some things to charity. I put other things out for the garbage man to take away (his love letters, that turned out to be lies). I put the rest in a box in the basement to deal with when I am not hurting anymore.

[mystik]

I keep everything too. It's not strange at all. Like everyone above said, just put in a box and store it away. Another thing though, you may be tempted to go through it when you're still hurting and trying to heal. Or you might accidently find it when you don't want to. I would box it all up, and give it to a good friend. Tell him/her to keep it for you, and to NOT let you go through it until you have basically all healed. Good luck...also, know that you'll be okay. My ex broke up with me in February and I thought I would never move on. I haven't met anyone else yet, but I've certainly moved on. It's possible, you'll survive*!

[Scotcha]

I keep everything. Well, at first anyway. After I heal I usually end up tossing most all of it out.. Love letters.. I've never kept those as the love of the person I am with will always mean more. I have a select few photographs but only ones taken at formal dances I went to in highschool.. The only thing I ever ended up really keeping was one small gift that my first love gave me. I've never told anyone it was a gift let alone from him.

 

There is nothing wrong with keeping things. A small shoe box is a good idea. Personally though, I just find that after I move on and let go emotionally I am inclined to follow suit physically.

[renaissancewoman101]

I originally kept most of the stuff my ex gave me like pics, letters, cards, and gifts, but when I moved out here, I got most of my stuff stolen out of my car and that included some of the gifts that he had given me (a leather jacket and a heart-shaped pendant with diamonds).

 

I do like to keep stuff for memories, esp to look back on later in life.

[Orlander]

I boxed everything up and shipped it to family.

[SaraJane]

Im one of those sentimental people too, but I also believe "out of sight, out of mind"

 

I'd suggest get rid of them, with the exception of a few things such as souveniers from a trip that you enjoyed... but keep the souveniers because of where you were... not who you were with.

 

 

Besides... the best memories are the ones that cant be thrown away or printed on paper. I dont want to forget my first love, and I never will, but I dont need objects for that... you dont either =)

 

If you feel you need to move on, you also need to tell yourself to let go.

 

Dont punish yourself by feeling you have to ditch EVERYTHING that reminds you of him... simple things that will bring a smile to your face on occasion are not a bad thing. I'd avoid pictures and letters though, those are potential problems in future relationships (I've been on both ends of that one, and its not fun) and can also lead to sad lonely nights of staying up crying and dwelling on them. Dont do that to yourself =P

[pacopaco]

i would say it's an immature thing to throw it all out. I kept the photo albums and letters, but they're tucked away...all the way in the back of the closet. I was also a big part of these memories, and throwing them away, to me is like denying it all ever happened, including all the good stuff.

[Silentlyfor]

Personally... I refused to believe that my first gf(now ex) was my first love. I acknowledge the experience more as a trial relationship. One where you make all the mistakes you are probably going to make and a time to realize that the person you 'DATE' is not the one.

 

Yes, I naively loved her like a little school boy. So? Pain, unfortuneately is a normal part of a first relationship. And what I did was I gave everything back to her that she ever gave to me which were gifts, pictures and mementos. I need to start anew with an ACTUAL love. Where I feel I can learn from what I did 'wrong' in my last relationshop and start anew.

 

The first love, however is never the one. I don't pretend like it is and I never will. And, when I let her go completely, new bf and all, I will go one with my life, single or otherwise.

[therealshrek]

i boxed everything up and put it deep in my closet at my parents' house