Talking on the phone with your bf

[babypink61]

My bf and I have a semi-LD relationship. We live about 1 hr from each other and see each other basically every weekend and sometimes one day during the week about twice a month. We email each other at work everyday and sometimes texts each other as well. The only thing we don't do that often is actually talking to each other on the phone. I think we talk on the phone maybe like 1-3 times a month? Now I'm not a big phone talker type of girl (even with friends) and I don't think he is too, but he likes to hear my voice over the phone once in a while. Another reason could be that I feel like we see other enough that talking on the phone is not that important in the relationship. So I'm just curious to hear what other couples go thru in their relationships. Is this normal? Sometimes we get awkward moments of silence when we are on the phone because we run out of things to say, is that bad?? I have friends that talk to their bf everyday on the phone for hours, and I don't understand what they could possibly talk about for that long . . . what do you guys think?

[Sally00]

It's different for everyone. My boyfriend and I see each other mostly on weekends. He's trying to get a new job, so I don't know how often I'll get to see him then... but after work, he always calls me and we talk usually about an hour everyday.. sometimes less. That's just us though. And trust me, WE ALL have moments of silence... that is completely normal. You are BOUND to run into a time when there is nothing left to be said. Don't worry 'bout that. If someone out there DOESN'T have moments of silence, I think something's wrong with them.

 

So basically what I'm saying is.. is that every couple has their own thing. There is no "normal" thing to do.

[Q10]

Yup, I think that's perfectly normal too, I don't like talking on the phone either, so I always keep my conversations on IM..

[lost29]

I think it's normal too. I'm kind of with you, in that for me, talking on the phone is not quite as important anymore because we see each other alot. My bf and I --- we've been dating about 11 months now --- phone each other several times a day and sometimes the conversation is really lively and sometimes we don't have much to say, lots of silence with a some of the same old small talk. Sometimes I call him at work just to tell him something that popped into my head. I used to get concerned about the silences but at this point I feel pretty confident in our general communication with each other that I don't get too concerned over the less exciting or more quiet phone calls.

 

I wouldn't worry about it.

[babypink61]

Thanks guys!! That's comforting to hear At least I know now that I know I'm not odd for not wanting to talk on the phone, especially cuz I'm a girl. I think I'm mostly concerned with keeping the conversation flowing in order to avoid the awkward silence . . .

[LiveStrong]

I always used to be the same with my gf, used to hate it because of the silences, it got to a point where if i knew we were gunna be talking then id plan something in my head before to talk about. Now its just got to a point where we dont mind silences on the phone, were comfortable enough with each other and both know it happens so doesnt bother us anymore.

 

And if the convo really runs dry, and you feel awkward at all then just say you have to go.

[Massari]

well. me and gf talk like every 3-4 hours in a day.. so that like 6-10 times a day!! and we do get silence and its nothing .. I was worried at first but don't when the other person calls you and whe you call them .. and just say hi or I miss u.. or I love you something like that and then the silence its normal don't worry about it. me and my ex NEVER TALKED on the phone and that was ok also. we chated on MSN alot and text messaged eachother. but we talked on the phone when we wanted to meet up !!! that was ok also but I find that talking on the phone is better then chatting on MSN and messaging all the time it kind gives it a warmth. so the silences are ok don't let that discourages you to talk on the phone especially when the bf is willing to talk. not many guys like phone convos!!

[Sally00]

and we do get silence and its nothing .. I was worried at first but don't when the other person calls you and whe you call them .. and just say hi or I miss u.. or I love you something like that and then the silence its normal don't worry about it.

We do the same thing. When there is a silence, one of us says "I love you" or "I miss you... even though it's only been 2 days." LoL. Just say random cute things that he'll love.

[Pippa]

Hi Babypink,

 

Woa! Your story sounds very scary! LoL. I mean its scary in a sense it was very similar to my ex girlfriend who lived a semi-far distance from me.

 

She lived up 1 hour away from me too. I work in a call centre, and I speak to customers on the telephone up to 7.5 hours a day.

 

I was with her for 7 months, and during that time. I was exactly doing as what your boyfriend is doing now.

 

I have to give you some advice here.

 

We emailed each other every day too! Also text each other, and the phone calls where few, and far between. This is what split us up. Unfortunately when we did meet, we sometimes had nothing to say.

 

You have to keep in touch by telephone, or your silences will grow, and the longer it is you don`t hear each others voices. You will grow apart.

 

Thats what happened to my ex. She just didn`t think I was there. Thats why she left.

 

Please get off the emails, and start talking on the phone. My girlfriend left me, and told me after she left,

 

"We don`t talk like normal couples do", and said, "We weren`t a couple!!"

 

Those words have not stopped ringing in my head. The new girl I m seeing now. Well.... I ve learnt my lesson. (not that it was wrong in any way, nor a mistake. Its how we met, and how we continued to talk) The telephone is more intimate than sending emails. Make it that way.

[AntiLove_SuperStar]

I feel rather like crying if I don't get to hear my boyfriend's voice every day.

 

We've been together for almost 10 months now.

 

We usually talk about 20-40 minutes every evening, text each other about 3-6 times a day, and usually fit 1-2 hours of msning in every day as well.

 

We spend about 3 days/2 nights together a week.

 

We don't usually run out of things to say. It's all down to the individual couple.

[Momene]

As someone who's been married for 17 years, we rarely talk when I'm at work but talk for about an hour or so when I'm away on business. My daughter talks to me a bit more, though.