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I Got My Pride Back, read my letter :)

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Hey all, these are my final thoughts to my ex who has recently cheated on me. I have not said it yet, and dont plan to until my heart is not so broken and I make sure I dont regret anything. I know its pretty wishy washy and preachy, but I would SO appreciate some feedback, you know, to tell me if I am insane or not:


Dear *****,

You told me that you were confused, so I will make it easy for you. You know I am not prone to emotional outbursts, and that I am using my head AND my heart, that is something you never seemed to like. I know that there is two sides to this, the one: those who comfort me and tell me that what you have done is so shameful and that you are just bad news. The other: those that care for you and want to protect you, telling you that things just happen and you have to follow your heart. The difference is that your side needs to hold back their judgment in order to support you, because I am rather sure that they would not hold back

their judgment if it was not you they had to support. I have always found

myself sympathizing with people even when they do the wrong thing, because I want to feel close to those around me. But I realize that you have to hold people responsible for their own actions or they will never do the right thing, and there is also something called justice which would be useless if (for example) we only blamed people's parents for their children's deeds. I am moving on, your cruelty and disrespect have ensured that. You cheated on me while you kept me close, kissed me, and left no doubt in my mind that your love was complete. While I thought I was being honorable by letting you hang out with your friend,

you and he grew feelings and said nothing to me until you were ready to say that you were leaving me because you loved another man and quickly run away while refusing to give any explanation, support, or even a word of kindness (barely any words at all really). He kissed you, but you have to let someone kiss you. You put yourself in that compromising situation each and every time you went to see him instead of avoiding it, or talking about your feelings. That is the epitome of immaturity and selfishness. What kind of person kisses someone elses girlfriend? Honor-less. Is that how you want people to treat you in life? Maybe all the psychedelic mushrooms or whatever it may be that ***** said you were into have gotten to your head *****, but what kind of man even wants to kiss someone who is taken. ***** I should have realized that you are

the type of person who is too scared to do the right thing after your actions concerning the sex you had during the time that we broke up for two months. All this so suddenly from someone I trusted completely and who I thought cared for others so much. At first I was worried that all people are capable of doing what you have done, but those who have been there for me have convinced me that it is not true. I hope that ***** is there for you to ease your conscience, although I don't see how you could want someone who cares so little for other people's feelings (unless they are in a position to give him pleasure back) to help you at all. But you have proved to be that way as well, so I guess it might work. Selfish and selectively compassionate. I also hope you have chosen

***** over more than your shared enjoyment of amateur poetry. That you have been through and shared with him the same things we have shared and been through seems unrealistic, and at first I was also afraid that all people were capable of losing interest over novelties. You said you love me and I still believe you (shouldnt I?) and so that is the remaining explanation. Like so many people who can never really choose someone or do a kind deed in life, despite a deep love, because they care about things that seem great but don't stand up a relationship at the end of the day.But those close to me have pulled me back from that ledge. I try to do theright things in life, and in the area of romance I think that I have always been especially able to do so, it is easy when you can care about people

unselfishly. Most people can do that. I thought you could, that is why your

actions are so bizarre to me. You seem to not trust some part of yourself, and now that you see what you are capable of in how you have treated me by cheating, lying, and leaving without mercy I am hard pressed to understand how you can be sure of any relationship. Now you are free to start a new relationship with *****born from the ashes of your cruel and honor-less actions together. The right path stood before you and you ignored it. You all need to grow up and start treating people the same way you want to be treated. Please, if you feel that you have to do this to someone again in the future don't be afraid to have a bit of a heart, because not even love can excuse that selfishness. I cannot even begin to

communicate to others how sure and safe I felt of your love through the way you acted and how your deceit was so unsaid and two faced, perhaps if they knew they would sweat with uncertainty whenever you said "I love you". Anybody smart who gets into a relationship which started deceitfully remembers what their partner is capable of, because I wasn't expecting it either. Please respectfully stay away from me and my friends, I do not need the venom that you have introduced to my life in the last days. If you care, when and if I find it in myself to forgive both of you I will contact you.

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Insightful advice, thank you. As for her in control, I dont really think she is that in control, but you are right that I should not assume she isnt, good point. And I dont! Did I give off that impression? Her new guy is the one into shrooms not her by the way, but hey WHO KNOWS lol! Personally i would stay away from anyone on shrooms. Most importantly: People always misunderstand this, i do not blame her for having sex when we are apart, it is that she was deceptive about it when we got back together. As for the end of the letter about communication, i really dont care, I guess I could put whatever, she can contact me or not. Thanks a lot for the fback

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