Are we finishing and what do I do?

[Enn]

Had a thing going with this bloke a year ago, he was in a mess (and there was a bit of overlap with other women at work - hmm not sounding good already).

 

I didn't speak to him at all for eight weeks...he came after me, wanted to give it a go. I had big reservations but I really liked him so we did.

 

But there have been problems. Quite often it's lovely, but then we'll argue (I'm not saying I'm blame-free, but my approach is to apologise straight away and try and be friends again) and he'll just end the conversation. Either by walking off, or slamming the phone down or even crying and it upset me so much - would make me have panic attacks.

 

He did it last week and I thought it was the final straw. I didn't want to speak to him for days. He was REALLY slow to apologise properly. It seems he keeps creating these situations and then is in pieces begging me not to split up. Anyway, he kept saying he loved me and I was really sceptical, I've always been that way. I wanted him to prove it and that he wasn't going to do it again. I always let him make the effort getting in touch.

 

Anyway Monday he asked me out, I thought I'm doing the Rules this time as I'm sick of fitting round his schedule. I said yeah but not til Thursday. Anyway after minor strop he was OK and we had a nice polite chat, he kept saying he loved me, he said he wanted to chat about saving us and since then...nothing. Neither of us have been in touch with each other. Two solid days now.

 

My question is...do I get in touch? Surely if he cared at all he'd be in touch? Am I just prolonging a relationship with someone who is trying to control me? And what do I do about our 'date' on Thursday - I was meant to go round to his (NB we work four yards from each other, but communicate via MSN cos we're quiet about it out of tact). Do I just not bother? Cos he'll probably then use that against me.

[saltwatergirl]

Well, he has you jumping around like a bangee. If he doesnt call that means he doesnt care, if i don't call will he use that against me, he fights with me, I try to stop it, he blows up then begs me back......You are like his entertainment.

 

He says jump, you say how high.

 

If I were you, I'd totally stop all this nonsense. I'd call him up, tell him exactly whats up, whats wrong, what needs to change, all of it. Give him your terms and dont mince any words about it. He either agrees, or he starts his usual drama, which is your cue to LEAVE, EXIT, BREAK IT OFF once and for all because if you don't, you are nothing more than his puppet. Time to put a stop to that, or get out of this situation and find someone who doesnt pull your strings so much.

 

Salt

[Momene]

Sounds like too much of a drama king. Tell him his behaviour is not acceptable.