Ranting about my ex

[Karibo]

So this afternoon I started ranting about my ex for like half an hour to my friend. We split up like two years ago but over the last few months we were thinking about giving it another go but it didn't work out.

 

I dunno, I just feel kinda disappointed in myself that I was going on and on when I haven't talked about him properly in about a year because I didn't want to bore my friends and have them think I was insane for still talking about him because he wasn't very nice.

 

I dunno I thought I was way past this, but I was going on and on in a very animated fashion about one of our biggest arguments we had like two years ago! I mean, come on I know that was A LONG time ago!

 

I still find myself detailing only on the stuff which makes it look like he was really hooked on me too and find that i leave out the stuff which might suggest he wasn't into me. Why am I trying to convince others that he wanted me so much? I know it's because I found it really hard to deal with rejection, but it's kinda emabarassing because it's probably obvious to my friends that I am convincing myself that he was more obsessed with me than he actually was.

 

I've realised that I am over him, I'm just not over how he hurt me. i still wonder how the hell he could hurt me so much on purpose. I've just been finding it really difficult to work out why he thought I deserved it. It's just clicked that this is what it's all about. I know I didn't deserve it, but it atill hurts, but deep down i know he hurt me to push me away because he was scared. So if i know this, why does it still plague me. Probably because I thought i was unworthy in the first place.

 

Also I feel very guilty about how I hurt him.

[theproman23]

You have to do what's needed to get over him. No matter what, I am sure there were good times which always makes you want to go back to them and puts that person in a different light. No one wants to remember the bad times. Even I do it no matter how much I am happy I am done with my ex I always think of the good times I am missing with her. You have to move on at your own pace and if that means ranting about ur ex to ur friends do it. If they don't like it they will tell you to stop. And most friends are there for you so don't worry. Do your thing and everything will be ok.

[Crazyaboutdogs]

Don't feel bad about yourself and don't feel embarrassed. The fact that there was talk about getting back together means that he was interested. When people give mixed messages "come here, go away" more than likely they are interested but have their own issues that block them. Issues that have nothing to do with the extremely overused and simplistic "he's just not that into you" crap. Not every relationship that doesn't work out falls into the neat category of "not being into you". People have all kinds of baggage that sometimes prevents them from trusting, letting go of past hurts and moving on to a healthy relationship.

 

It is often very difficult to talk to friends because they don't see the interaction between the couple so they can't really judge. They don't see the body language, the words, the tone, the little nuances. The person directly involved does and can thereforeeee make judgements that outsiders can't. I have been in this situation before and it is really frustrating because you see things others just can't, so they regard you as being blinded by wishful thinking when that is not the case at all.

 

Right now you are dealing with the hurt and frustration that comes with a reconciliation that just doesn't pan out. The frustration built up to a point that you needed to vent. There is no shame in that. Let your friends think what they want. You know the truth and that is all that matters.