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Right of passage?

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I've had this on my mind lately. What makes a man a "man"? Has the concept changed, or is it still pretty much the same? I suppose I have traditional views on this. I don't believe men should be the only one that works, and the wife should submit to him and all that nonsense. But I believe a man has a unique position with his wife and children that shouldn't be tampered with. Out of all the things a man can do with his hands; carry a rifle, build a house, love a woman, raise a family, what molds us into men? Is it defined to you by your career? Turning 18? Drinking your first beer? College? Marriage and family? Sex? Or is it something I didn't list? Is the transition different than this for a lot of people? I don't know why I'm thinking about this... Comments?

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I think it's all just a personal opinion.


The stereotypical man is muscular, supports his family, and can protect them. But I think the younger stereotype for what a man is, is being sexual, and drinking beer, and making money.


When I think of a man, I just think of someone older and more mature. But also in my opinion, you could call someone a "guy", "male", or "man", and it would all mean the same thing to me. Just someone of the male gender I guess.

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I haven't ever really thought about this, but if I was to call myself a man I would have several qualities. I suppose I'll just list some of those off:


- Respectful - to authority figures and people in general

- Emotional - not afraid to cry when its necessary (I do cry by the way, not ashamed of it)

- Pride - someone who carries pride with them obviously values something in life

- Commitment - whether it be to a woman, to a career, or anything else meaningful in life


I'm sure there are others, but I'm exhausted at the moment; I'll probably post again later with some more.


I think 18 years old was the breaking point for me. I was out screwing around (much like I am now I guess), but when I hit 18 reality hit me a bit harder and I realised many of the more important things in life, such as respect, maturity, and commitment (even though my girlfriend left me for another guy involved in a relationship, but I won't get into that here).


I also think it has alot to do with culture/race/religious beliefs. So really, it depends about who you talk to and what they believe in, is what I'm trying to say. Those were just my thoughts on the topic.

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Subjective, isn't it?

I've noticed it varies among men, whether they're straight, gay, Republican, chinese, angry, calm, artistic, drunk, etc..


Lots of stereotypes and viewpoints on this subject, and young guys are eager to tell their buddies to "be a man," usually when it involves drinking or taking risks, ignoring common sense or not having emotions. Cool.


It's all up to you, and when you feel like a man, that's all you need. You don't need to display some behavior to impress anyone or be accepted.

You do things to satisfy yourself, instead of others. To me, it's making ethical decisions and keeping my word. Women can do that, too.

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There are many "rites of passage", its different for each person.


It may sound strange, but my rite of passage was having my heart broken. It completely tore me down, but i now have the chance to build and grow into the man i am meant to be.

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I've been thinking about this, and I don't remember any rite of passage.

Not losing viginity, getting drunk, watching my friends die, getting married, burying my father, ending my marriage or other emotional milestones. Maybe dying will be my rite of passage.

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