Once again.

[danman4968]

Ok, so ive posted months ago about a problem I had. My girlfriend broke up with me once before, she used the excuse things would never work out, but she found a different guy. Once she realized she made a mistake because she realized she "loved me," she called me crying, and I regretfully took her back.

 

Now the same EXACT situation is going on, just like last time she wanted space to think, last time i didn't give her it, this time as hard as it is, im trying but i still cant help but call every once in a while. She tells me she loves me still, but ignores my calls, emails, and texts. How can she love me if she could care less what i do, who i am with, or where I am? When she tells me she loves me, it's more of a slap in the face than anything.

 

It seems like she just wants to use me as a backup kind of guy, incase the new guy she is with from her work doesn't work out. We've been together for 2 years now, but anytime things get rough and she sees a guy that is "a gentlemen" or is "nice," she ups and leaves. What do I do, im trying to establish NC, but theres so much stuff in my house that belongs to her and so many notes and pictures and such, its seemingly neverending. So i can't get her off my mind.

 

Do I find someone else, wait for her, or what?

[DN]

Defintely Option #1 - find someone else. Who needs treatment like that?

[kadvati79]

None of the above, find yourself mate. You lost that some time ago, because of her. Learn to be by yourself, then one day someone will walk into your life.

[Sally00]

You don't need someone to treat you like this. I say find someone else... no, DON'T find someone else. It'll just be a rebound. Just talk to her about it. If she doesn't do anything about it, leave.

 

What do I do, im trying to establish NC, but theres so much stuff in my house that belongs to her and so many notes and pictures and such, its seemingly neverending. So i can't get her off my mind.

 

Do I find someone else, wait for her, or what?

And what's NC?

[danman4968]

It means no contact, last time i posted on here, i was told by 9/10 people to do that...i did and she came running back to me, not the reason they said to do it, but i got what i wanted back.

 

This time is different i want her back so bad, but i know that she will just do something like this later when things get rocky...i mean she dropped me on a dime, no bye no nothing just ignored calls and when she called it was just to say goodbye.

[Rob38]

No contact definitely helps....worst case scnario you get over her and you get with someone else....let some time pass...and be confident...if shes seein another guy..this may play to your advantage...bc whetehr they want you to know it or not...you are on their mind in some capacity.

[danman4968]

Ya, well i just texted her saying i understand her decision, and i support it, and maybe what she did is best like she said it was. So, here we go...again... I know if she comes back I will take her back, thats the bad thing : /

[danman4968]

well, i just had a conversation with her. She says she cares about me, she isnt sure what she wants. she wants to make it fast and easy, but later she thinks she may regret it, but she doesnt care. what does this all mean?

[kadvati79]

what does this all mean?

Well, it means nothing and everything.

 

Here's how its going to play out. For the next month, lets not even worry about giving you any advice to get along that time. You are just going to do whatever the hell you can to get yourself through it. You'll contact her, she'll feed you some stuff, she might go hot then cold. It will be crazy. Maybe she will float back, maybe you won't, but if a reconcilliation has ANY long term potential success then really, it doesn't matter what the f**k you do they come back. You can't trick or game someone into being your life partner.

 

Try not too look for meaning in what she says. Heh. Saying that i feel really silly, thats like telling a dehydrated man not to drink when he finds a river.

 

Whatever happens, just remember, you aren't crazy. You will get through this. One day you will look back on this and giggle. Keep posting, keep posting, and for gods sake.... keep posting.

[danman4968]

so she just sent me a very hurtful and mean email, saying that i have no traits that she would ever want, i am the opposite of the person she needs, and when she thinks about it she cant think of one reason why she loves me...she just does...what now? she made her final decision and im now out of the picture. what next?

[danman4968]

So my girlfriend just broke up with me...i have been writing lots of emails letters calling enlessly etc. only because she doesnt answer, i am going nuts wondering what she is doing. but i realize it is only pushing her away more. so im trying to establish NC, but shes already broke up with me, and she sees this new guy, do you think that i am still on her mind, because ive tried the whole get her jealous thing, ive tried everything, and she doesnt care, she only cares about my physical well being. So i think i know the answer that is coming, establish NC and give it time. but i just need to hear it i guess : /. How do you think she feels about me right now? I know ive pushed her away with my annoying calls and emails, but what is she thinking? any clue?

[saltwatergirl]

Well, i think right now she isn't thinking anything at all about you. She already knows that whatever she is doing, when she gets tired of it or bored with it, or it doesnt work out, you'll still be there and take her back....so, no worries for her!

 

Question really is, how do you feel about that, and what do you want to do about it, if anything?

 

If you don't like being someones back up plan, and you dont like feeling so unappreciated and used all the time, then i'd suggest dropping all contact with her, coming to grips with this thing being over once and for all, and moving on-- instead of sitting and waiting for her to decide she needs you again.

 

But that's just my advice.

 

Salt

[danman4968]

ok...im trying to move on...im talking to a new girl from my work now...but it just doesnt fill the hole. I emailed her saying how her decision was good and how it gave me a chance to better myself and learn...she emailed back saying shes glad for me and good luck...not exactly the response i wanted, but oh well. So im moving on...but i keep thinking she may still be undecided...ealier tonight, after she emailed me, she UNblocked me from MSN for a couple minutes, then went offline. Hoping i would talk to her? or what? who knows. then her best friend tells me to just ignore her for a few days she realize she * * * *ed up and shell come running back...but everything she is doing is telling me otherwise...i want her still...but im not sure what to do...i dont wanna do the right thing, i wanna do whatever will make me happy right now. What can i do?

[sky58]

Sorry to hear about everything, but you just gotta move on. You gave it a second chance and now that's the end of things. She didn't change as it seems and out of hope for the future, you took her back. She's made a very stupid decision and is very immature. She obviously didn't know exactly what she wanted. Leave it and do NC. Get rid of her stuff, give it back, or have buddy take the stuff and put it somewhere where you don't know where it is. You're better than she is and she obviously took advantage of you. Move on and get yourself back.