I don't know what's happening?! Need advice!

[atticus]

My girlfriend of 7 months and I have had a really good relationship so far. We hardly ever fight at all. we have little arguments here and there but we hardly ever fight.

We've been apart (on vacation with family) for almost 4 weeks now, and it hurts being apart, but I get back in a few days.

 

We were talking on msn a few days ago and she had just gotten back home from overseas and was tired, jetlaged and stressed. I had just gotten back from a vacation that more stressful than relaxing though.

So we started talking on msn, after I hadn't talked to her for 2 days or so. and things seemed fine, she was just busy doing a bit of work. eventually she jokingly said 'screw off you're distracting me, I hate you!!' and she did say she was joking right after... but I was hurt because i was stressed out already and it bothered me... it usually wouldn't bother me but it did.

 

So she went off to get some stuff done and she said I should email her. So I just told her that I was a bit upset about the things she said and whatnot. and she replied and said she was offended because I was being absurd, and that she was joking etc...

So eventually it all came down to her saying 'i don't want to be with you anymore...' which was childish in my eyes, over a stupid fight like that...

she then came back online and we talked on msn, I explained to her that I just went through a stressful couple of days etc.. and when I asked 'so i take it we're over?' just to know what was going on, she started saying how she feels i rely on her too much. and how the relationship might be too much for her and whatnot. but when I asked her for examples of how I rely on her all the time she couldn't think of any. she also said that she feels that she is too much for me, and if we were to break up I would have forgotten about it all in a month or two..

I then asked if she wanted to break up ebcause that's what it seemed like, and she's looking for a reasoning to make me understand.. I also told her that I still loved her and wouldn't want to break up, or forget for that matter. but if she wanted to break up i'd be the last to beg her to change her mind because I know it takes two for a good relationship.

she then said she was just being silly, and was really tired and that maybe she just misses me... so I told her that i love her and that I've been gone for over 3 weeks now and get back in a few days, the worst part is over..

so that was that, we basically made up for the things said earlier..

 

that was a few days ago, she's at an art course now which takes up pretty much all of her day, starting early in the morning and she gets home after 5. but I've texted her a few times these past few days, because I missed her and I was longing for her attention, but she hasn't replied to any of them. She did however, call me very late last night and we talked for a bit and we both said I love you etc...

 

I just want to know, if I should bring up anything, because she does seem a bit distant to me at this time. or might she just be very busy? I know she's busy, but sending me one text, only one text isn't too much to ask is it? It would definitely make my day because I love her dearly and miss her a lot. Should I maybe bring up that issue and ask why she doesn't reply to my texts? I just don't want to stir up unnecessary things again before I get back.. but I don't know.. it's killing me, I'm really attached to her...

 

I guess what I'm asking is, from what you've heard, would I have a reason to worry like i am, and possibly letting her know how I feel? the last time I told her how I felt she got really angry, which was a first, but I don't want to go through that again, not while I'm overseas... but I also don't want to wait because as I said, it hurts... or should I just leave it be because she is just really busy, which I totally accept...

 

anyways, let me know what you think! thanks!

 

-atticus

[Momene]

See how normal things are when you get back and give it a couple of weeks to settle down. I suspect that she might have met someone while away. If things settle back to normal once you're back she didn't and if things seem a bit strained, she probably did.

 

I don't want to scare or annoy you but these things sometimes happen when people go on separate vacations.

[Sally00]

I once had a boyfriend who had several chances to call me and let me know I existed... but he didn't. After a month, I was tired of it and broke it off. Then a few months later, one of my friends told me that he knew he should've called me when he had the time, he just didn't. Too late now.

 

And I agree with you... one lousy text message or reply back is not gonna hurt. Yeah, she's probably busy and everything. But if I were her, I would have gotten the 1 whole minute of my life to text you back or call you just to say Hi. It shouldn't be a huge hassle, the way she's making it seem like.

 

Hmmm I don't know about bringing it up... maybe wait till she's NOT as busy? Because if you talk to her while she's busy, she'll be all stressed out and "joke around with you" again, hurt your feelings, and make her mad. That's my take on it...

[atticus]

thanks for the replies so far guys...

 

a few things though. I am very positive that she didn't meet anyone while on vacation. she was gone for two weeks with her family, visiting family and she stayed at one location for only a couple days. I also talked to her on the phone every day and things seemed perfectly normal..

 

about waiting until she's not that busy, the course she's attending is lasting another month... so that kind of sucks..

 

I was thinking, and I think we'll be on the phone in an hour or two, so I'll just bring it up there. I'll just make no big deal of it and tell her that I'm worrying but I just want to make sure things are alright.. and I'll go from there!