My situation so far

[zrx]

My ex and I were together for nearly 2 years, we had many great times together and spent alot of time especially on weekends hanging out. Like she would stay at my place or I would stay at her place. However, she does not have much friends and because she was spending alot of time with me she felt as thou she was getting crammed in the relationship. She figured that she needed to work on herself and be by herself before she got committed to a serious relationship.

 

2.5 months ago she decided to end the relationship because of the personal problems with herself and that she wasn't happy with herself in life. I took the news very hard and it got me really depressed. I didn't know about NC until I found this site and though I may have ruined my chances at ever getting back with her. But I had realised that I needed to work on myself and not contact her until I am ready. After about a month and a half of not seeing her I called her up and was happy to hear from me and we decided to meet up for lunch. We had a great time and later hung out at her place. We then went for a drive and talked about things between us. She basically said that she doesn't want me to wait for her and to go out and meet other people. I said that is fine and she knew how I feel about her. She hadn't been up to much since the breakup while I was telling her about what I had been doing, which was quite alot. After the talk with her it made me feel better.

 

So a few weeks up until now we have hung out maybe once a week, going out to dinner and then last Sunday we went to the movies together which she asked me and we had a great time. We did get into a slight discussion after about whats been going on in our lives. She asked me if anything has happened with anyone but I said theres been nothing. Nothing much had been happening with her either. I didn't bring anything up about us even thou I wanted to. We left it at that and she gave me a hug and we called it a night. Now I don't know what to do, I still have feelings for her and want to be with her, it doesn't hurt when I spend time with her, I feel as thou I am much stronger now thanks to reading peoples posts on here. =)

 

Sorry if I haven't explained my story well, I am not very good at explaining things. Ask me if you need more information. I will update you on the progress each time something comes up.

[mikeca]

I think your on the right path, you can only take it slow, and judge her responses. Think of it as a new relationship or new beginning, you'd start hanging out, then grew closer..and closer. but for now, think small baby steps.

[AwdreeHpburn]

zrx - I agree with Mike - keep doing what you're doing. I think things will go up and down but it sounds to me like you've got a good handle on things.

 

Lean on us on the down times.

[ForAnother]

I'd say don't date her yet.

 

Tell her to make strong relationships with friends still... before you commit, you need to talk to her and tell her that you don't want her to fall into the relationship trap again... make sure she SPENDS TIME WITH HER FRIENDS!

 

The most important thing you can do is INITIATE this talk... and NEVER EVER get upset when she wants to hang out with her friends (other than if she blows you off). If you get upset just once, she will fall into the trap again. You need to be strong and she needs to find her happiness.

 

-ForAnother

[yeawutever]

Yea, take things slowly and with patience. She just doesn't find the same way towards you and wants her own space, yet within her there must still be feelings otherwise she wouldn't be meeting you on dates. As you guys get closer again like before, then maybe she'll feel like getting back with you.

 

[zrx]

Thanks for the responses, its given me a good view on everything. Much appreciated. I will keep you all posted.

[yeawutever]

You're welcome zrx, hope everything goes well and do keep us updated!!!!!!