Little advice for the guys...

[Memi]

...I can't tell you how refreshing it is when guys are completely honest with you. I'd rather have a guy telling me that they hook up with girls they meet at clubs (so that I can make a decision whether I want that in my life) rather than hide it from me, or not mention it and let me find out later (just to save me from the hurt in the beginning.

 

I went on a date with a guy that told me the he wasn't really interested something long-term and that the most recent he hooked up with someone else was 1 week before we did (yes we hooked up before our first date out)....and instead of being angry, I was just thought, "atleast he's honest!!". But maybe it's because I'm so used to guys trying to hide everything...and ending up finding out later.

 

Hope this helps some of you guys...

[Doctor Smurf]

But what you might not realise is for those of us that do want something longer (like me) then being honest is very very hard just in case she leaves!

 

Yes, I know its by far the best to have it all in the open, but try telling that to a guy on his first date! I think there's something in your post about that gent we can all learn from Memi!

Doc

[PocoDiablo]

Honesty works wonders when dating women. I advise all men to be upfront about their intentions. It's so simple and so rewarding. You don't waste nearly as much time on people for one, and it sets a precedent for honesty that you just can't buy.

[heythere1234]

But what you might not realise is for those of us that do want something longer (like me) then being honest is very very hard just in case she leaves!

 

Yes, I know its by far the best to have it all in the open, but try telling that to a guy on his first date! I think there's something in your post about that gent we can all learn from Memi!

Doc

 

You have a point, If someone told me for instance that he was a complete player, I would probably lose interest. But on the other hand, if he was at risk for giving me a disease, (or a bad reputation), or cheating on me, I'd want to know.

[sfboi415]

OK Memi, you mentioned that you would like it if men were honest and told you what they were looking for. But when is it a good time to actually do that? The first or second date? Also, I was given advice that a man should rather show what his intentions are instead of saying them.

 

Which way is correct?

[PocoDiablo]

You do it with actions, not words. Ask her on a "date" and you are doing it. Ask her to "hang out" or "chill" and you aren't doing it.

[Daddy Bear]

Memi, I wish someone would have said something like that to me 2 years ago. I met a girl who was so much more than I had ever dare hope for and she stirred feelings in me that up to that point I had thought were the stuff of fairy tales. She let me know in many ways that she had some deep feelings for me, but I was more interested in protecting myself from getting hurt than in showing her how much I really cared about her, and she finally got discouraged and slipped away, but not before denying all feeling for me, which frankly crushed me like a ripe grape.

 

I will never forget the sad look in her eyes the last time I saw her, and the other day I was devastated to hear from a mutual friend that she is in hospital on suicide watch, apparently over another failed relationship. Of course, she wants nothing whatsoever to do with me now, and I can't blame her.

 

All I have to show now for my self-serving caution are tortured dreams and a handful of ashes that used to be a heart, and at the very best I will probably kick myself for the next several decades.