Dealing with a hard breakup

[mnuttster]

I've dated this one girl off and on for about 3 1/2 years, we've broken up a handful of times and the last time was said to be our last and that if we couldn't figure it out then, that we probably weren't meant to be together. I always was super into my work (radio biz) and never realized that I wasn't giving her 100% of me when I was with her, so it had a huge affect on our relationship. I always came home cranky and tired and probably had pent up anger from her cheating on me twice before. We always said that we wanted to marry each other and have children together. I eventually found myself to not be attracted to her physically anymore and cut our sex life out of the picture, which led to her cheating on me a third time and saying that she didnt see herself marrying me anymore.

 

Now three months after we broke up again, I find myself still missing her on a daily basis and wondering what I could have done differently to make things work. I try to cut contact from her by blocking her from websites and IM, but she will call me after a week or wo and leave me tearful messages of how she can't understand why no good guy ever has wanted her back and that she still misses me and it hurts to know that I didn't want her, especially since we were planning a future.

 

I have even tried to be friends with her by hanging out with her a few times eating pizza or watching movies, but I find myself tearing myself apart trying to not make a move on her or to talk about us getting back together.

 

What can I do to get over her and let all of this go? Because she is dating someone new and always brings up how he has blown her off and not called her back sometimes, which is obviously hurtful for me to hear because I still love and care about her. I know that I shouldn't try to get back with her because she has already moved on from me and is just playing games with me because she knows she can. Maybe in the future we can give us another chance, but I want to know how to heal my heart now.

 

Any help is welcome and appreciated.

[heloladies21]

Best thing for you to do now friend is to cut contact with her and start talking to other girls if you can, and that means not picking up her calls or returning her messages either. Then you can start the process of healing up for real.

 

If you're not to the point where you can cut her out of your life, tell her how you feel. That you want her back and all of that. Pour out your heart and don't hold anything back. It's a step you need to take before you can go into No Contact and then heal up.

[robowarrior]

Even if you miss her, you two were not meant for eachother. If you come back together with someone who cheated on your , your basically giving her the green light saying ' its ok for you to cheat on me, because i will take you back anyway' which i may say is a very bad signal to give ,downright wrong even. There's so many reason why you two shouldn't be together , i dislike lightswitch relationships , on off on off on off, because you already have your proof that it didn't work out , why would it work out in the future? There's no ground for that, heck you even saying you aren't physically attracted to her, im not sure if you just are 'alone' or if you really love her, even if you do its too late, you can always love her but you need to move on and fill that gap with a new gf. Stop doing this to yourself, go and move away from her.