His X coming to visit his family!

[heyguys]

Hi all,

 

Well the other day i was browsing myspace. I ran accross my boyfriends sister's page. On his page I saw a comment from his x. I guess his sister and his x still talk sometimes. My bf says he doesnt talk to her. He doesnt know i saw the myspace page. Well his sister was all, "oh wow, i miss you so much, and my mom misses you so much! yu should come visit us, i love you ur so sweet. come see us soon" the x replied "of course ill visit u, i miss u and ur family so much, ill come in august cuz im pregnant so ill bring my baby by then!" . To me this seemed way to friendly. I mean why are they all still "friends" and why should i be ok with my bf x coming to visist and hanging around and why did they love her so much. I am afraid that the mom and sister must love her more than me cuz i cant imagine them wanting me to come visit after we are broken up. its weird. should i speak up to my bf. my bf said he stopped talking to his ex like a year ago even they broke up like 3 years ago. They remained friends bc my bf was in a serious accident and she came to support him and his family even though they were broken up and thats why the family really loves her. But still hes fine now and he doesnt need her or her support. he has me and we are together for a year. why is she coming around and being invited to come over! what should i do when she comes if she does.

[AwdreeHpburn]

Heyguys, this is a tough spot for you. I know how you feel.

 

I am still very good friends with my brother's ex and my sister in law is terrified of it.

 

I try to be respectful and I don't bring up our relationship because I know its something she's insecure about.

 

But there's nothing there anymore. My brother is married, has a baby and one on the way. Would seeing his ex give him memories? Of course. Should he not be reminded? Why not? Is he going to leave his wife after seeing his x? Highly un-likely.

 

But I still like her and I love his wife too.

 

My point is, I think there's room for both of you and she probably won't be around all that often anyway.

 

I recommend telling your bf how you feel and letting him know you're not comfortable with the whole thing. You don't have to be. But don't let that ruin a friendship that may be between other family members.

[heavensent]

Wow, this would drive me crazy too. You do need to talk to your boyfriend and let him know how you feel about this. I would just tell him that if she comes you don't want him around her or his family while she is there. That's completely understandable..but about his family hanging out with her and stuff, there's not much you can do about that..it's their choice. Maybe if your boyfriend talked to them and explained to them that it bothered you (it may even bother him too) then they would also understand and respect that. If she is pregnant with another guys child I'm sure you have absolutely nothing to worry about (if you are concerned with her taking your place).

[DN]

I don't think you should tell he he can't be there - it looks as if you don't trust him and is also controlling behaviour.

 

I would suggest he invite you to be there as well. Then you can be very pleasant to her, coo over the baby, and act super friendly and confident. Big brownie points with his family and you don't come accross as the jealous girlfriend and turn his family against you.

 

"Keep your friends close but keep your enemies even closer."

[heyguys]

yeah thanks, i do not want to come off as so jealous and insecure and the family even though it kills me inside. i dont even know if my bf knows they still talk or shes is plannin a visit. should i wait for him to bring it up. what if he never does and she comes and never tells me so i wont get hurt. he knows id be kind of upset

[lucia]

Geez girls, chill out. Try to trust your bf and be nice to his ex. It's three years since they broke up. And his family has a right to be nice to her, cause probably she's a sweet girl. Try to be cool about it, maybe you'll gain a new friend?

[Dako]

How a guy treats his ex often says a lot about how he treats people in general.

[lucia]

I agree with you Dako

[heyguys]

well this was really initiated by my my boyfriends sister, not him himself, but i get the picture. i just know his x really wanted him back so i dont want her trying any thing to win him back

[fishrrshortae]

How a guy treats his ex often says a lot about how he treats people in general.

 

Highly agree with Dako

[eleanorrigby1]

you have nothing to be jealous of here in regard to how your boyfriend feels about you or his ex. She is pregnant to someone else, she is happy and settled and your boyfriend has no intention of getting back with her. So his family like her, doesnt mean they favour her over you and if they seem to like her "more" it doesnt mean they want her to be their son's girlfriend, they broke up for a reason.

 

I was extremely close to my x's family, his mum used to say she hoped we would stay together and get married because i would make the perfect daughter inlaw. His gran loved me, his sister loved me, but he didnt! so he dumped me he didnt care what they thought about me, it was his decision and them loving me made no difference.

 

when we split up his family were all gutted about it and i was devestated i wouldnt see them again. I still email his mum sometimes, it has been 2 years and i have a boyfriend who i am madly inlove with and as far as i am aware my ex is inlove with his new girlfriend.

 

i speak to his mum because i care for her as a friend and vice versa.

 

Please dont panic about this.x