Will I ever find love again?

[Lubber]

I remember the first day we met. I was in 7th grade, and it was the first day of school. I was in my math class, and I notice this girl who I havent seen before, but she wasn't like any other girl I have ever seen. There was just something about her that I couldnt even begin to describe, and I eventually started liking her.

 

Well 5 years later, I realized I was in love.

 

Over time, we became good friends. I mean, I can carry a conversation out with this girl for hours on end about anything from orbital physics to what our favorite bottle cap looks like. Its like when I'm with her, I feel alive. I mean, the chemestry I was feeling was amazing too.

However,

 

I've asked her out on many dates, and she always agreed to come. Well, after many of these dates I'd ask her out. I think I asked her out maybe like 5 times? Whatever.

 

Anyways, she would always say she would think about it and the answer would always end up being no. Eventually, I talked to her about it and she just said that she didnt feel the same way about me, never has, and never will because were just friends.

 

I was horrified.

 

I just didnt understand how I could feel the way I did about her, and not have her feel the same way about me.

 

How could I have such intense emotions and have them only be one sided?

 

I think that was the first night I ever cried myself to sleep.

 

Well, things stayed the same over the years, and I got rejected a few more times, but about 3 months ago, she and her boyfriend at the time broke up and then she asked me to go to the beach with her one night. Well, I was estatic, thinking that after all these years my time has payed off, but once we were up there I realized that I wasnt in love with her anymore, and at first I was happy. I finally felt free! But then after looking for someone else, I realized that I didnt like any of them. I wasn't even interested.

 

Well, I have a girlfriend now, and I guess I like her, I'm not sure. I cant hold conversations with her like I could with the other girl. I dont really feel alive with her like I could with the other girl. And I just dont love her the way I loved the other girl.

 

I feel like I will never find love again.

 

Every girl I meet, I just dont feel the same way about her that I used to feel about this other girl. Im worried that I'll never experience the way I did, and that maybe she was the one.

 

I know I'm young, but love knows no age.

 

What should I do?

[SilverCloud]

yes you will trust me... The one you are meant to be with will be with you too.. sometimes it takes time but it will happen..

[Goodfun88]

I would suggest breaking up with your girlfriend first of all. Its not fair to her. Second of all, you never know when love will happen. If that girl was the one, you'd be together. Since you aren't, you need to get back out there and be single, so that if the one does come along you'll be there, and be ready. I think you'll find what your looking for, it just takes time. Don't settle for anything less and let your current girlfriend go, its just not fair for her. Good luck!

[RayKay]

This will sound like a really flip answer but...yes, you WILL find love again.

 

And you know what will be even better? When those feelings are returned to you. I know you had intense feelings for her, but it was not meant to be if she did not have them for you...it wasn't the right one for you.

 

I think most people can relate to how you feel right now, and you do really feel "never again". But...you do. You just can't rush it or force it.

 

I think though based on how you feel about your current girlfriend, maybe it would be a good idea to end it...it's not fair to her to have her fall for you, when you really aren't for her. She will end up being in your place as a result.

[lucia]

I would say give yourself time. And I don't think that breaking up with your current gf right away is a good idea. Think it over, you have to be sure that you really don't love her. And I wouldn't compare your current gf to your first love, cause ppl are blinded by their frist love and remember only positive things about the person they loved. First love will always be the "perfect one".

[blueangel]

Do you see this little pattern here? You have gotten used to chasing that it has become what you look for. True love will you see you back, but you have to see that person too. Expectations only kill. Not everyone will make us feel "alive" but what about that one person who did- we can take that upon ourselves, grow with what we loved about them. When you become what you want, you don't need someone else to be it anymore. All you want to do is share it and that becomes enough. The person to love is the one who brings out the best in you, who you feel you can share the adventerous side of yourself with. But if you DO keep certain ideals, then no, you will never find THAT love that you're looking for because every person is different. The point is not to look. It is to LET.