Should I even WANT her back?

[sirberus]

Here it goes again. Ive posted my story about 2 times already! I met my ex about 11 months ago and from there we hit it off good. Now, I was mean to her (with jealousy and what not). We got into a lot of fights and broke up quite often and it seriously was my fault most of the time. One of the times we broke up she had a "date" with some dude and they kissed. About a week later we got back together and she stopped talking to him. Anyways she got pregnant in december so we decided to move in together. About a month ago we got into a fight and I said some things you DONT say to women let alone pregnant women. She decided she couldnt take it anymore and broke up with me. That same night she started talking to that guy again. A week went by and we got back together AGAIN! (after me crying and pleading daily). So a few days after that I noticed she was acting kind of different. Being less affectionate and what not.

 

So I asked her about it and she finally said "I dont like you like that anymore" "ive lost those feelings". That same night she went to the bar with that guy and stayed over his house. She did have sex with him. From there I was hurt but I still tried to change her mind. She was moving out in a few days so we decided to spend those last days together like nothing happened. One of the nights I was drunk and while she was sleeping I noticed the dude calling her phone. So I picked up and decided to meet him somewhere (im not a macho alpha male I was just drunk and mad at this guy) so we meet and he talks to me tells me to stay out of their business and blah blah. After that I moved out and havent talked to her since. Its been 3 days of NC except last night when I text her for a ride because I was too drunk to drive. She didnt reply... Anyways my question is this, regardless of what happens I still want to be there for our child but she wont let me go to the doc apps. And I still love her very much so. You guys think If I did get a second chance with her I should take it or is what she did with that guy unforgivable? Thanks for spending your time reading this much appreciated!

[venus777]

i really think you need to leave her alone. you've pushed her away and she isn't coming back.

[sirberus]

ouch so u dont think i have anymore chances?

[majord23]

You may have another chance, but I think if you focus on getting that chance then you will probably lose it.

 

The relationship that you describe (between you and your ex) sounds unhealthy and to answer the question in the title of your thread...I'd say no, that you probably shouldn't want your ex back.

 

But, if you've been here long enough, you'd realise that there are alot of people on these boards (myself included) that probably shouldn't want our exes back....but the heart wants what they heart wants, eh?

 

If I was you, I would not be pressuring your ex AT ALL. If you do, you will push her away...and possibly push her away forever.

 

Your motivation for not wanting to push her away should be for your child. He/she is the most important thing in this scenario...and that should be your entire focus.

Let your ex go for the moment....let the feelings (on both sides) cool down a bit and then re-enter her life and let her know that you are there to support her and to be a part of your child's life.

You may or may not get back together...and like I've said - forget about that for the moment and concentrate on getting things civil between you and your ex for the baby's sake.

 

Good luck