What Did I Do?

[The_Vacancy]

I don't know where to begin with this...

 

First off, the person I am talking about, I met on these forums. So I do hope she reads this...

 

I have known someone off of this forum for over two years, I think almost three years now. She is a great person, and when I was going through a period of time where I wanted to die because of family and friend problems, she was the only person that listened to me. I seeked help over eNotAlone and she was my answer, I have never been so glad to have met someone and I wouldn't swap the world for her. She's taught me more about everything about life, we became online sis and bro. I don't even know where I would be today without her. She has made the biggest impact on my life.

 

Recently she hasn't been talking to me and we haven't kept in touch. Thankfully to her help I am better now, but she hasn't answered me in ages... And I am so confused if I have done something wrong. I am almost back to my old self. It's like when you think about something so sad for so long and you can barely breathe. I miss her more then anything and as time goes on I don't know if I will ever talk to her again. That crushes me. I know it might sound "stupid" but seeing as I do not have a connection with any family members, she was the only person that listened. She was a replacement to my family I guess. And I am so confused now, if I have made her mad or something. I don't want to blab on but it's been almost a year now and I haven't spoken to her, it's so hard to type this and I am so confused though. It's time I bought it all out.

 

How come she won't talk to me anymore? I don't know if it was intentional or not, but she has always told me that I was a great person, and to not have her around anymore crushes me. Lately I have been so depressed that I have actually been aching in my stomach. I miss her so much and I am so confused that she won't answer. It makes me think I have done something.

 

I am writing this as kind of something to let go of all of this stress, she is on this forum. I won't post her username but I will say she is a great poet within these forums, and she has taught me to write good as well. I have been waiting for many responces, or just one, lately, but nothing. She won't even say hi. And I know she wouldn't just ignore me. This person is an intelligent person who wouldn't do anything to hurt me or anyone.

 

I have tried everything to hear from her one last time and I am so depressed and confused now that I don't know what else to do. I pretty much know now that I might never talk to her again.

 

So basically, I want to contact her just once first. I don't know what to actually ask because I am just too confused and it's a very complicated situation but does anyone have any suggestions for me to just say hi to her one last time? I can't imagine going on without her, she's done so much for me and now she has just disappeared. Sorry to blab on alot, but it's just so confusing. Hopefully someone can help me out here.

 

And sis if you are reading, please just say hi to me one last time.

[southerngirl]

Some people come into our lives for a reason. They come to teach us something and once you learn that lesson they move on. No one knows why but this is how it is.

 

Some people come into our lives for a Season. They come to share some time with us and when that time has passed, they move on. No one knows why but this is how it is.

 

Some people come into our lives for a LIfetime. Once you find eachother there is no end short of death. No one knows why but this is how it is.

 

Dont know what she came into your life for but you learned from it. You grew from it. Cherish the time you had. Give her space, maybe shes just been busy lately.

[robowarrior]

Giving advice is one thing, becoming a gf or expand to a long term relationship is something very different. You have clinged to her life, instead of standing on your own feet, having a life of your own and moving on with your life. Someone who gives advice was never intended in general as a partner for life or soulmate that would carry you thru all the years. We give advice then we leave. You mayhaps stayed to long in her life, you are seeking things in her, that are not there. You are looking for attention and companionship, all very normal. The end conclusion? Your not alone, instead of putting all the burdens on her shoulders, understand she has a life of her own. Yes she wanted to help you, doesn't automatically mean she wants to date you. I feel that you had more intentions after she helped you, you develloped 'overdependancy' on her. Sometimes loving someone means letting them go, you have gone 'out of boundries, or lost context' in towards the help she gave you, and mistaking this idea in your head that she would be a companion for the rest of your life.

 

So basically you are walking around with a 'misunderstanding' on how she feels for you, and i can only hope you understand that you are walking around with a misunderstanding what her intentions where with you. She was there to 'help' you = NOT , asking for a long term relationship.

[Ash]

If she's been actively posting on the forums here, AND she knows you are around (it seems as this may be a new user name you have and hence she might not even see your post if she knows you by another user name) then I would think she has a reason she's not wanting to respond. Perhaps she has issues to deal with, or feels she can't help you anymore like she used to. Either way, I doubt very much she is doing this to hurt you. Furthermore, I suspect you would not find it any easier to have one last goodbye note. That might make you hurt worse about it.

 

Perhaps it's time to let it go. If you've tried to contact her and not heard back then there is a reason for it somewhere. Maybe best to let it go and move on. It's been a long time since you chatted, and perhaps this is a passing pang of something you are feeling, and if so it will soon pass too.

 

Sometimes too, the more we try to get somebody to respond, the more they shrink away until we inadvertently force them to put up a wall which never comes down again. If she wants to reply, and can reply then she will. If not ... as said before ... move on past this. Things change, part of growing up means knowing when you can let something go.

[The_Vacancy]

Thank you, people so far.

 

I might have mislead you, I am not in a relationship with her that I want to date her... I don't want to date her. We consider each other sis and bro though, nothing else.

 

And I don't want to sound like I am putting all the burdens on her shoulder. I am just confused by the fact she hasn't been on here or eNotAlone for a long time.

 

The last time she did post was on the first day of this year. So she hasn't posted in about four months either. Perhaps she has just been busy.

 

Sorry if it sounds like I am clinging on to her but it's hard to move on from someone who has done so much for you, it makes me feel like I have done something wrong, that's why I am confused.

 

I have pretty much came to the conclusion that she is gone now, it's just hard to face that...

[From_Now_On]

Well, I'm just seeing this post because you got a-hold of me through e-mail and gave me the link. It surely is and was no fault of your own that we fell out of touch. I have a tendency to fall out of touch with people all of the time, I don't like that...but it's true. And I don't frequent enotalone these days...when I do I usually just read a forum or two (if any) and sometimes post a poem or something. For some reason I don't get e-mails when I get messages on here either, so that doesn't help. Although I don't check my e-mail often enough either. Life is pretty busy for me, with my senior year of high school and college and family and life stuff. But I always want to hear how you are. It's hard to keep up with you because you change usernames and methods of communication so much...but if you keep contacting me via e-mail with that same address I think we'll be able to keep in touch like we used to. And I miss you bunches darlin, so I would love that.

 

But all of that said, your post nearly made me cry. And you know I'm not one for crying. I'm very glad you were able to contact me...but even more so, I am *so* glad to hear life is going so much better. I honestly didn't realize how much I meant to you, I'm glad I could help sweety. But really it's all you, and just remember if we ever *do* fall out of contact for good, it will *never* be because it's your fault or anything like that. Okay? I love you always and I'll always be thinking of you.

 

Take care darlin,

ur sis

 

p.s. thanks for not posting my username

and then to everyone else who posted replies: thanks for the help and support you gave him. a lot of the responses were pretty well thought out. I especially liked the first one. but i'm glad that he was able to contact me.

 

much love to all,

FNO