Don't you hate it when the ex "probes"?

[Bigbilly]

At least, that's what it seems like she did. She's had me on her MSN messanger list since October, the last time we spoke. I haven't had her on mine, because I felt like I had nothing further to say to her and wasn't interested in maintaining a contact.

 

She's made a few attempts to make some sort of connection since then. A couple messages, trying to add me as a friend on Facebook (on which I believe was her birthday), and finally some remark about her Major last weekend. I didn't say a thing, I just closed the message window and got back to my homework. A few days later, she finally took me off her contact list.

 

Why do they do this sort of thing? Does she honestly think I still give two shakes of a s--- about her Major, after seven months? Am I wrong to be completely refuting her every attempt? I mean, I'm over her. I want nothing to do with her. I don't want to catch up, or see how she's doing, or anything. She could be dead for all I care.

 

She bad-mouthed me a LOT to her new friends, to justify her rather thin case for ending our relationship. I think that's part of the reason I hate her so much now, because I never did anything but try to help her through her many problems, and she turns right around and makes me out to have been the biggest problem so she can save face in front of her new friends.

 

I just wanna make sure it's not considered "jerk-ish", what I am doing. Ignoring her, I mean.

[melrich]

It's not jerk-ish. You are under no obligation to respond or remain friends. Try not to turn your feelings into hate though. It is such a strong and destructive emotion.

[shorty20]

it sounds like ignoring her is the nice thing to do for you. Seeing what you've written here and how much you dislike this ex, I think that if you did reply it would only be negative things (probably true things though) so you're doing her a favor by not responding. She's probably trying to get justification for what she did. She knows that you know that she messed up and dosen't like having that on her conscious. This is all strictly IMO and obviously it's should be taken with grain of salt considering I don't know her or you.... but to answer your question No, I don't think you're being a jerk. You're moving on with your life and wanting her to do the same.

[SilverCloud]

No you were right not to give her any false hope. But i think i understand why she still had you on her messenger.

 

I did the same thing sometime ago, not removing my ex from the messenger. I had him blocked instead and i never contacted him after the breakup.

 

Its was not to probe its just that i didnt feel i was ready for letting him go. I was the dumpee, so maybe that says something. But when i was ready i did delete him. He is still blocked and i never contacted him. I still miss him but that doesnt mean i want to see him everytime he logs in.

[bobo85]

Its normal to feel bitterness towards your ex. Just dont let that bitterness consume your whole life. Maybe it would be better if you forgive your ex and try not to hold a grudge. Forgiving her doesnt mean you have to contact her or anything. Forgiving her is for you so you can totally move on with your life. She ad mouthed you to her friends....well here is a reality check. When girls dump there bf's...they bad mouth them to justify there decisions. I'm sure you said somethings about her to your friends when you guys broke up. Just try to get over the past. You sound like you DO NOT want to be friends with her at all. And that is your decision to make.

 

She tried to contact you numerous amount of times and you did not respond. Your not being a jerk...you just moved on and made a concsious descision not to have her as part of your life anymore.

 

Repect given !

[Bigbilly]

What makes you guys think I would be giving her false hope? Meaning, she would have to be wanting hope for me to instill it. I don't see her wanting to get back together. I can't imagine her wanting anything except to make herself feel better.

 

No worries, though. It's not consuming my life. It's just an annoying earmark at this point. I guess this is just my way of getting over it.

[annie24]

I don't get it either. she broke up with you right? It sounds like she wants to know if she still has you within her reach, in case she changes her mind. Sounds like she doesn't