shorty20 Posted April 5, 2006 Share Posted April 5, 2006 So I just got back from having an amazing weekend with my boy. We had tons of quality time, and really got to know each other. I just got off the phone with him, and am a little annoyed though. This is why First off, he called me while he was at a friends house. No big deal... he knows he can call whenever, but these particular friends seem to think I have him on a "leash" and MAKE him call me all the time... like I could do that even if I wanted to. So he was on the phone with me for literally 3 minutes (I haven't talked to him all day) and his friend starts yelling at him to get off the phone. Then, he got this tone like "I know you're going to be mad but I don't care" and said "oh, just to let you know when I go out on Saturday I'm NOT taking my phone." I've never once made him think that he HAS to call me. He calls when he wants and I do the same. We aren't on the phone excessively either and our conversations are usually pretty short. I just said "ok..." like why are you telling me on tuesday that you aren't going to talk to me on Saturday night? Like it's some big deal. So then he laughs and goes "she was just like ok...." like he'd been talking about it with his friends.. what the hell?? I tried to keep my cool but I just told him to call me back later when he wasn't at his friends and he goes "well isn't it pretty late there?" I said ya... and sensed that he didn't really want to call so I was just like "just call me when you want" and then he did that little sigh that annoys the hell out of me and goes "well I know what that means" and I said that it meant what it said... call me when he wanted to. So he said bye and I said bye and he hung up. Am I overreacting to be this pissed? It's like he's making me look like the needy girlfriend that I pride myself in NOT being. He's makign it seem like if I don't hear from him one night it's going to devestate my world. AND he's getting his friends in it and no doubt they're influencing him too.... GRRR... I can't let this one go. He's NEVEr talked to me like that, or made me feel like this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
keenan Posted April 5, 2006 Share Posted April 5, 2006 I'd be ticked, too. That's just annoying, especially if you pride yourself on not being overly needy. Have a chat with him in private and see if you can figure out why he feels the need to fluff his MANLY MAN feathers in front of his friends. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shorty20 Posted April 5, 2006 Author Share Posted April 5, 2006 well the most private we get is over the phone... he lives 1500 miles away, hence the LDR. His phone dosen't work in the baricks where he sleeps and I'm not calling him again just so I can prove to his friends that I am the exact thing they think I am... needy. I sent him a text to call me on his way home so we could talk but I won't be surprised if he dosen't... or if he does it will be late and I'll already be sleeping... I want to talk about this NOW while I'm angry. Otherwise I forget everything I had to say and just let it go to get brought up again later in a bigger fight. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AwdreeHpburn Posted April 5, 2006 Share Posted April 5, 2006 yeh - sounds like he's puttin' on a show for his friends. Next time you're with him or talk to him when his friends are NOT in the back ground, be sure you bring it up. Tell him you were hurt by that and remind that he doesn't need to do that to impress his friends or at the very least you would appreciate he not do that. If he gives you a hard time about it, you could just always ask that he not call you when he's with those friends. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
keenan Posted April 5, 2006 Share Posted April 5, 2006 Hmmm. Maybe you could cool off, then talk about it later when you AREN'T mad...well before the next "bigger fight." I sympathize with you, but I don't know what you can do about it right now, except file it away for next time. I've noticed guys doing things like this and always imagine that it's their version of saving face or showing dominance in front of their friends. If it happens very rarely and you can have an honest heart to heart, it's probably fine. But if it starts to happen a lot, you've gotta ask yourself (and him): What's he trying to prove...and why does he need to show everyone that he wears the pants...and at your expense, no less? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xprincessbugx Posted April 5, 2006 Share Posted April 5, 2006 He likes you he just doesn't want to make himself like like hes whipped infront of his friends. He's just trying to be something he's not and you can look right through that. I'd tell him to just not call me from his friends house anymore unless he can act right and not have to put on a show for them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bobo85 Posted April 5, 2006 Share Posted April 5, 2006 Well being in a committed relationship means putting you first before his friends. Okay not neccesarily first but he should be considerate towards your feelings. Why wouldnt he bring his phone? Arent there emergencies. If he's not bringing his phone just so he doesnt have to talk to you then YES !!! i would be pissed. Obviously its 2006 and 99.99% of people have a cell phone and bring it with them everywhere no matter what. No...you have the right to be angry. He shouldn't let his friends influence him. Next time you go to a party...dont bring your phone. See how he reacts. I bet he'll be angry and will probably question you the next time he talks to you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arwen Posted April 5, 2006 Share Posted April 5, 2006 Hey shorty, I'd be pissed off as well. I think it's best to write all things you want to say down, and discuss things when you've cooled down. I'd understand if you feel like doing something similar to him, like not picking up your phone when he calls, but keep in mind that things like this usually make things only more complicated. He will be irritated and so will you. Take care, Ilse Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AntiLove_SuperStar Posted April 5, 2006 Share Posted April 5, 2006 Blimey...is he a different guy to you, and a different guy when he's with friends then? If so, it's unlikely to change because some peoples' friends' opinions (poor grammar there; you know what I mean though!) matter a lot to them, and they just don't *think* how it makes their signif others feel. Its probably a question of making sure he doesnt phone you when he's with his friends...good luck talking to him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GEMMACHURCH Posted April 5, 2006 Share Posted April 5, 2006 I think you are right to be peeved. He is with his mates and being an immature little boy. Its a shame and if you really care about him and he is usually fine when you are together, then i wouldnt worry too much, as it is obviously something he does for show when his mates are around. I would say if he is going to act like a little boy about it, then treat him like a little boy in return. He wants to make you mad and get a reaction out of you. Its hard but just act like you don't care, "sure, ok hun see you later then" and he'll soon stop doing it when he realises that you are above that stuff and aloof to his immaturity. Its sad but I thin a lot of guys are still like kids, you have to reward good behaviour and ignore the bad behaviour and refuse to give them attention when they are being bad. Hope this helps a bit.................remember how strong us females really are Girl power!XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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