Tired of getting treated like crap

[scarew]

I love my bf very much. We have become pretty serious about the future and recently moved in together. We get along REALLY well and have tons of fun and can talk about ANYTHING with eachother. The little problem is that we are both pretty chronic marijuana users. If I haven't had any, I get a little paranoid and anxious but can mostly control it. If he hasnt had any, like during the day when he is at work, he is ridiculously snappy. I can even predict it. He will find reasons to snap at me because of his own feelings of guilt or incompetance. I know that the only time I will get affection and love is when he is kind of baked. That happens to be every day after about 3:00, but what do I do during the day? Avoid him? Is that healthy?

 

This isn't something I can leave him over and I don't think its something that I can change so I have to learn to accept it. Any thoughts or suggestions?

[DN]

Stop using marijuana would seem to be a start - both of you. And if you say that you can't you have a bigger problem than you imagine.

 

If you need to get some help from an addiction centre.

 

link removed

[Dako]

Let's see here. Your relationship suffers when there's no buzz on.

Either stay high at all times, or stop getting high.

If you quit, you'll have more money unless you homegrow.

 

Pot can get tiresome after a while. When I quit chainsmoking the stuff, life became much easier, but ice cream was never the same.

 

Putting smoke in your lungs isn't a good thing.

[scarew]

Oh I know. The pot head thing is something we both know that we need to work on on a long term level. But it will take time and right now the ***holeness is pretty hard to get over. He hates "talking about problems" too so I don't want to bring it up. Maybe I should just learn to get over it as quickly as he does.

[thoughts]

does he recognize that he is irritable when he doesn't smoke? are you smoking schwag? sounds crazy, but coming from past habitual smoker - not anymore - when i smoked low-grade marijuana, i got irritable, but when i smoked the good stuff - those sober moments - which were few and far between, i was just still out of it - negative (which pot makes everyone after a while - they just don't see it) but not irritable.

[Dako]

Hate to be a nag.

It really is harder to deal with life when you're stoned. Every problem is something to put off dealing with. I tried some stuff a few months ago after a 20 year break. It made everything difficult and wasn't that much fun, although the beer with it was the best I've had in ages.

[DN]

Sounds like a cop-out to me, to be honest. If his behaviour is being changed by the pot - how do you know it will not get worse as time goes on?

[scarew]

Guys, I really appreciate your responses but I know that it's bad to smoke pot! I am a registered nurse and see the side effects everyday. I am well aware of all the mental disorders, COPD's, and lack of motivation it produces.

 

It might not be your way to deal with things, but the long term problem is deep and requires more than a quick fix of quitting cold turkey at this time. I need to put a bandaid on my problem by either accepting it or talking to him about it.

 

I am sorry, it is my fault for putting that detail in my post I know it is a sensitive issue for alot of people. I usually keep that part out so that I don't get people telling me what I already know.

 

DN, thank you for that website, I actually will check it out. Dako, don't worry I dont think your a nag haha. Thoughts, what is schwag???

[Momene]

I don't condemn people for taking stuff. I actually believe alcohol is just as harmful, even though it's legal. The point is if you're getting dependent on anything, whether it be dope, beer or even chocolate, you need to get help.

 

Good luck.