monsieur Posted April 3, 2006 Share Posted April 3, 2006 You know what I mean. Those of us that need constant reassurance. Those of us that watch the phone and jump when it rings hoping it is the one we are needy for. Those of us that when we like someone we can't think about much else but that person. Those of us that have to fight the urge to turn off the one we like by being too persistent or needy. We put ourselves through mental torture all day long. I guess the best would be if we fell for someone equally needy, but it never seems to happen like that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sexychiick16 Posted April 3, 2006 Share Posted April 3, 2006 I think i know where your coming from with this one! Gosh, I now exactly, im going through it right now with my recent "someone." well i guess some of us just want to be loved and have constant reassurance. Im sorry your feel this wayyy, You are definetly not alone... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Empathy Posted April 3, 2006 Share Posted April 3, 2006 This is a good question. I hope many people respond to it with very good answers. I'd like to know the answer to this one myself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
monsieur Posted April 3, 2006 Author Share Posted April 3, 2006 The thing that makes it worse too is that I always seem to fall hard for the girl that is a little bit indifferent and doesn't work that hard in the relationship, sometimes doesn't call back or misses a day in emailing or whatever. I told her before that it really hurts me when she misses emailing me or something and she got pissed off at me thinking I was way too sensitive. I can't help it though, not hearing from her for even half a day puts me into a major depression, but the instant she contacts me I am instantly happy again, my moods put me on a roller coaster ride whenever I am in a relationship or hoping for a relationship. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tex1907 Posted April 3, 2006 Share Posted April 3, 2006 Yeah. I know how you feel. Ill be like this forever except its not that im needy, i just replay stuff over and over again in my mind and it gets to the point where I think everyone hates me or thinks im a loser. I need constant reassurance that a person doesnt hate me or think im a loser. I do this with everything and everyone. Even for professors at school. I think that sometimes they will give me a worse grade than someone else who appears cooler or something than me. I recently acquired 2 girl's numbers and got rejected by both.... It took me 2 years to get those numbers by the way. For the last week I was playing the times we hung out over and over in my mind to see what I did wrong... but i cant find anything obvious.... It stinks... but I hope I get over it eventually. Maybe im better off being single for the rest of my life, because even the slightest rejection screws me up for a week. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sexychiick16 Posted April 3, 2006 Share Posted April 3, 2006 Im not sure if yall can see this... anyways...I think its because we let people walk all over us. It sucks, but some people, like us for example are nice people and aren't scared to let someone into our hearts which sucks because us gullible people Love to be loved and it reall bumms me out personally because a lot of people will take that as an advantage to do something screwy behind out backs.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
monsieur Posted April 3, 2006 Author Share Posted April 3, 2006 yeah, some people might say we should develop a thicker skin, but I don't want to develop a thick skin, I want to be loved right now my heart is in turmoil because I called her and she didn't answer, but she had emailed me earlier today, I go through this every day it seems, she doesn't care about me anywhere close to as much as I care about her, but I don't know how I can change that Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
renaissancewoman101 Posted April 3, 2006 Share Posted April 3, 2006 Monsieur, I am a girl and I understand exactly how you feel. I am very insecure and I have a bad habit of needing people to constantly reassure me otherwise I think real badly of me. I tend to think of myself as messing up a lot, not being able to make good decisions. So, every time I make a decision, make a choice, it takes me forever and I get freaked out that I am making the wrong choice, that someone is pissed at me about the choice I made, that it is going to affect me badly, etc. As for being needy for a person, I can be like that too although I am getting better. After going through my last relationship with my ex and seeing how, towards the end of the relationship when I began to pull away, the ex began to chase me, feel insecure around me, etc. It made me realize that those types of insecure behaviors turn off people. I was very turned off by him chasing after me, showing me his insecure side, that it caused me to pull away from him even more. Then when he dumped me, it cause me to want HIM back. I realize that dating is a game and the name of the game is to keep ahead one step and make the guy want you more than you want him. It is a delicate seesaw process but sometimes that is how you have to do it. And you cant let your guard down because you open yourself to getting hurt. As you can see, I am reluctant to go find a bf right now. I am not good at playing games and I dont want to be hurt again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
monsieur Posted April 3, 2006 Author Share Posted April 3, 2006 I agree with you completely. Doesn't it suck that it has to be like a game? I hate that. I wish everyone could just be equally in love and not have to play around, I am so weak inside that I am ill equipped for this game. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Empathy Posted April 3, 2006 Share Posted April 3, 2006 The thing that makes it worse too is that I always seem to fall hard for the girl that is a little bit indifferent and doesn't work that hard in the relationship, sometimes doesn't call back or misses a day in emailing or whatever. I told her before that it really hurts me when she misses emailing me or something and she got pissed off at me thinking I was way too sensitive. I can't help it though, not hearing from her for even half a day puts me into a major depression, but the instant she contacts me I am instantly happy again, my moods put me on a roller coaster ride whenever I am in a relationship or hoping for a relationship. Go to this thread: And read what RayKay has to say on the first page. What she said really hit home with me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
monsieur Posted April 3, 2006 Author Share Posted April 3, 2006 yeah, that has a lot of truth, all we need are "scraps" to keep us hooked to the idea, the one we "love" could ignore us for days and then one call and we are back in 100% in our minds. I go through anguish almost every day because of my feelings of "love" or need or whatever you want to call it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
venus777 Posted April 3, 2006 Share Posted April 3, 2006 yeah i feel you, i'm dating a musician that is working really hard and it can be hard to pull him from his work, thing is, honestly, i'm falling for him kind of hard, and probably he can tell. but instead of sending him emails saying forget it, it's over, instead of assuming he doesn't like me and accusing him of it, i try and make light of it like saying "you didn't call me back, you sure did miss out on kicken it with me last night!" and so on... i think for us more needy folks that require reassurance that is one of the key things, asking if they are dating someone else, but that takes a lot of guts.... which i haven't aqcuired yet. i used to be more needy, like if i'd sent an email like that i'd be waiting and constantly checking for a response and if i didn't get one immediately i would write another one or something. so i distract myself with other things, rent a movie, hang out with friends. usually, if i keep myself busy i'm less preoccupied with what HE is doing!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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