Anyone else do this to themselves...

[GottaLetItBurn]

I was just sitting in my living room, thinking about how great it is getting because I am actually finally accepting that she is gone. In the sense that I can't hold on to the hope things will get back to us being bestfriends like we used to be. Always in the past when I would start accepting it and feel like I am moving on, then she would creepy back into my thoughts and I would feel the pain again. That isn't really happening anymore.

 

Basically, does anyone else sometimes feel like things are getting better, and you realize you aren't thinking about them anymore then all of a sudden they are in your thoughts? You have a mental relapse and you feel like you back at square one.

 

If you know what I'm talking about.. That has happened to me about 100 times, but now I feel like I'm ok, and more at peace that she is gone. I don't really feel scared that we are going to run into each other and it's going to hurt me and she is going to know. It's been about 8 months and I can't say there is much time she is out of my thoughts, but there is no pain when she is. I Figure that since it isn't getting to me that much anymore, Im ok now.

 

Anyway, I just want to say that if that happens to anyone, and they think they are falling apart and starting to loose it. YOU ARE NOT, your mind is just sort of giving you doses of the pain till it hurts less and less. I feel like going out dancing now lol..no doubt I'll miss her from time to time, but thats ok..not to sound cliche or corny..but I think all you have to do is keep the memories that don't hurt you in your heart and move on.

 

If this post is confusing then I'm sorry, but yeah..I just had to get my thoughts down. Sometimes they are hard to relate to, but yeah, hope everyone had a good spring break.

[tylercdurden2004]

Yeah its normal. Although sometimes I wonder if I feel too good. I felt such relief when whe left, wasnt bad relationship but I was tired of being the positive one and felt like at times she really wasnt carrying any of the relationship. I miss her to death sometimes. But no sickness to the stomach to real twinge of missing the good old times. Think I realized they are in the past and will and must always remain there.

[GottaLetItBurn]

I feel you on that part about always being the possitive one. I can't be myself around a girl that gets sad all the time for no reason (or about things in her past like ex's). It's real easy for someone to bring you down when you're happy because they are sad, but it's hard to be the one that lifts them up when they are down.

[tylercdurden2004]

I feel you on that part about always being the possitive one. I can't be myself around a girl that gets sad all the time for no reason (or about things in her past like ex's). It's real easy for someone to bring you down when you're happy because they are sad, but it's hard to be the one that lifts them up when they are down.

 

Yup! I got trapped thinking my positive attitude would rub off. She had mentioned it as something she always admired about me. But in the end I found her bringing me down more that i was bringing her up. I can only smash me napper against teh wall so many times!