1.2 Years later having met my goals-- my despair for her returns

[dstanzler]

In 1.2 years I changed a lot and I am meeting my biggest goals: I am changing colleges and going off to music school. It took a crapload of work and recently I got parental approval which for art is virtually unheard of in my family.

 

But now I cant stop thinking about her and her boyfriend and its making me nuts. I dream about her too. I still love her and I still think she may be back someday even though thats not now. Hanging on is my choice but letting go has proven to be impossible for me.

[bobo85]

sorry to hear bro. But you have to move on. Waiting is just gonna make things worse.

 

Have you ever had a relationship with her? Or are you just interested in her but never made a move?

 

Dont be hung up on one girl too long. If you have had a relationship with her...then i can feel your pain..but only time will heal you. If you NEVER had a relationship with her then get over it and move on. I know its tough to hear but why waste your time on someone who has never loved you.

[stolenshadow]

Hello, the thing is that you can keep hanging on for another 1.2 years and then another and another.

 

The point of letting go is that you can continue with your life and be open to meeting a new girl that can be better for you.

 

If you don't end the relationship even when your ex already did you can end up meeting a great girl but you won't be able to see it as you are going to be comparing the new girl to the old one.

 

Comparisons are bad, but comparing a present to the past is also dangerous.

 

I'm afraid you are not likely to get her back by holding on to her memory, I suggest you to live the present and understand what the current situation is, once there you have to look objectively at the relationship you had with her and then try to convince yourself that if it ended it was for the best.

 

It's going to be difficult but it's a fact that not letting go won't give you anything but emptiness back.

[dstanzler]

We were together for 1.5 years.

 

Thing is I know what I want in women. You just dont find girls like that everywhere... and it was my first love-- first everything.

 

Now shes been dating around-- I really dont even care-- I just hope we have a future. Once Im more set in my goals all of this will matter less.

 

But I hope she resurfaces in my life.

[Empathy]

I'm in the exact same spot as you. Only I haven't made any improvements in my life since the break-up so I feel even more worthless. Now when I think of him and his girlfriend I can't help but tell myself "She's better than you. You've accomplished nothing and nobody wants someone who is going nowhere in life." I'm in a really bad point in life right now and I have been for over a year...since we broke up. Anyway! This isn't about me, it's about you. Sorry. I'm still in a lot of pain and it consumes me sometimes. All I can do is tell you, as the site name more than implies, that you're not alone. I thought I was over it for a long time too, then suddenly out of the blue I find the wounds ripped open again. It's as if I haven't healed at all. As if we broke up just last month...I too find myself hoping that he'll come back to me even though I am 100% sure he never will. He's infatuated with this girl and feels nothing but indifference for me. I've accepted that and that's the best thing I can do right now to help me heal...although it doesn't really seem to be working. I can't say that this girl won't come back into your life but it's best to prepare yourself for the great possibility that she won't. Good luck and take care. I'm right where you are so I understand and wish you the best.