kimi_baby Posted April 1, 2006 Share Posted April 1, 2006 Hey, okay so i'm new here, but i'm so confused... I'm afraid the pattern's always gonna be the same... Whenever i'm with a guy or meet someone new, they always want one thing... and as soon as they get it they leave me. So now obviously i realise what i'm doing wrong. It's just... with this new boy we actually talk... but he still only really wants one thing. Does that mean he's just like the others...? And should i be offended that he wants to sleep with me and not just sit and talk to me? kimi_baby Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DN Posted April 1, 2006 Share Posted April 1, 2006 Most guys and a lot of women are interested in sex - it's not offensive providing that he doesn't try to pressure you in any way. If he only wants sex then just move on - life's too short to get offended. Don't have sex with anyone unless you really want to. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kimi_baby Posted April 1, 2006 Author Share Posted April 1, 2006 Yeah, thanks, i know. But does it mean he wants to be with me rather than just sleep with me and move on to someone else? I mean, is this normal, cuz all of my friends seem to be able to develop the friendship part of a relationship without sex being involved til later on. And they end up having good long healthy relationships... whereas i dont. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
southerngirl Posted April 1, 2006 Share Posted April 1, 2006 Possibly you are dating the wrong guys. You should hold off on sex until your sure you really care about a person, not because you think its what they want you to do. The right guy will stick around even after the sex. If they question why you wont 'do it' just tell them that you are wanting a relationship and a boyfriend not just a bed buddy. Hope this helps Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrocza Posted April 1, 2006 Share Posted April 1, 2006 I agree with southerngirl. Let's face it. Anything with a penis wants sex. He's going to want to have sex with you regardless...but the question is, is that the first thing he'll go after, or will he actually care to get to know you, to take you out and impress you, to work to get your trust and let the sex come on it's own...or will he be shoving his hands down your pants because you're making out with him in his back seat? You may be dating the wrong guys, or you may be sending the wrong signals. Show them that sex is something special...it's attainable if they're worthy, not because you're horny too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NJRon Posted April 1, 2006 Share Posted April 1, 2006 Things with and without penii want sex. You will be with people that only want sex and you will be with people that want more. There are only two ways to find out. Either sleep with him now if you want to and see if he leaves, or don't sleep with him for a while and see if he leaves. However, in the end, the only way you'll find out is after you sleep with him... unless he is actually honest with you and tells you upfront what he is looking for. The question I have is how long have you been seeing this guy? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RandomAdvisor Posted April 1, 2006 Share Posted April 1, 2006 Anything with a penis wants sex. Same with vaginas. I also agree with southerngirl. At least you realize what you are doing wrong. Other girls get into the same pattern and never stop to think they are doing anything wrong. They just keep dating the same kinds of guys, keep having sex quickly, and the guys keep moving on. Is there anything different about the social circles you are finding these guys in? What's different about the way your friends meet and interact with their BF's than the way you do with yours? If you sit down and think about this for a little while I'm sure you can figure it out. Maybe you can even talk to your girlfriends and see what they think. And yes, don't have sex with anyone unless you really want to. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrocza Posted April 1, 2006 Share Posted April 1, 2006 Lol sorry guys. I just meant it as a general statement. Don't get offended or think the guys out to get you because he possibly wants to have sex because anyone wants to have sex with someone they're attracted to. Men and Women. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miss M Posted April 1, 2006 Share Posted April 1, 2006 Hey, okay so i'm new here, but i'm so confused... I'm afraid the pattern's always gonna be the same... Whenever i'm with a guy or meet someone new, they always want one thing... and as soon as they get it they leave me. So now obviously i realise what i'm doing wrong. It's just... with this new boy we actually talk... but he still only really wants one thing. Does that mean he's just like the others...? And should i be offended that he wants to sleep with me and not just sit and talk to me? kimi_baby There's a huge portion of the male gender that treats women as a sex object, and nothing more. Yes, they certainly do only want one thing. And there's a huge portion of the female gender who these guys find particularly intersting (aka attractive). Unfortunately you might be one of those women (although others will tell you you're "lucky" ). I'm also one of those women, and I find a lot of the guys who approach me are primarily interested in the sex, and nothing else. It's very sad and confusing, especially when other women don't seem to be getting that same treatment. Most people suggest that you should put off the sex until much later to see if the guy will stick around and get to know you, so you might try that. But you still have to be discerning and able to read the clues. Guys interested in just the sex are often very manipulative, patient, and very skillful at deception. But waiting awhile for sex will probably at least weed out some of the less skilled ones. For some insight on how some of the more "sex-oriented" guys are perceiving "attractive" women, I found this VERY lengthy thread helpful... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fishrrshortae Posted April 2, 2006 Share Posted April 2, 2006 If he wants YOU, he will wait. If all he wants is sex, he won't. Make him wait. That's all it really takes. He'll either start to adore you, or he'll bolt for an easy lay. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NewPhillyGuy Posted April 2, 2006 Share Posted April 2, 2006 If he wants YOU, he will wait. If all he wants is sex, he won't. Make him wait. That's all it really takes. He'll either start to adore you, or he'll bolt for an easy lay. agreed. don't sleep with him until you are ready. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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