Love is bizarre to say the least

[VeganBohemian]

I get confused man...it's like sometimes I feel as though my love for my boyfriend is so strong and I know he feels the same way...and then sometimes it is like we don't. We do feel in love more often than we do not I suppose...but sometimes it is like we forget or something and then we get reminded and it is like...oh yes...I love her/him. Yes, we tell each other we love each other umpteen times a day...but sometimes the feeling is so strong that we can't stop saying we love each other...and then other times we just don't want to see each other.

 

Am I weird or has this ever happened to you? Also...I get confused because sometimes my boyfriend acts as though we have a future together and then sometimes he doesn't. Make up your damn mind.

 

It is my personal opinion that we do love one another...but it is like in its early stages. Sadly, I do not think we will ever reach the unconditional, to death do us part love. And that makes me sad.

[tmp0620]

People have good and bad days, and our thought processes are constantly changing.

[VeganBohemian]

Also, sometimes I change the way I act which can cause mood shifts. Sometimes, everything could be perfect and we don't even have to be involved in any kind of activity...just being together is enough. And other times I get mad at him and he gets annoyed at me and we both just aren't feeling the love.

 

Do those times when we are "in love" mean more or less than when we quote on quote "are not"? I am just speculating here.

 

Also, what about being in long term relationships where because of some things you felt at the beginning (ie; INTESNSE connection) just are not there as much as it was before, but neither person wants to admit it because of how strong the feelings once were?

 

Also, once 2 people have been going out for a long time...at what point do you decide whether or not you are growing closer together or farther apart?

 

What about when there is not much new to discover?

[VeganBohemian]

I should mention that my boyfriend and I never fight. We just have feelings. I can tell what he is feeling and he can tell what I am feeling and it constantly changes and it makes me upset because I don't know what to think then about my thoughts or his.

[BillyJean714]

VeganBohemian,

 

Nice name. Here's what I learned about love (been through several relationships- this is what I know to be true).

 

1. Relationships are NEVER perfect. There will always be some kind of ups/downs - not to the extreme though. My point- when you're still GETTING TO KNOW each other, there are times where you're going to experience a few turbulations.

 

2. People grow together, naturally when they BOTH genuinely love each other and they live near each other. The more you see your partner, the more you both are around each other, the more you grow onto each other. Kind of like that saying, "Out of sight out of mind" when 2 people are around each other, they build on that bond. When they're not around each other as much (in cases like LDR relationships), there is a tendency for the bond to not be as strong.

 

3. Whether or not you have anyting to talk about or if you grow together, depends on each person's intentions in the relationship. Some people really have the intentions of really wanting to find "that right person" even when they're in the 20s-mid 20s. Some people want that. Some people don't. Some people want that kind of relationship where it's distant/convenient whenever the time is "appropriate".

 

The MOST important part to the equation is to find someone who is looking for the same things you're looking for. Keep a person who has an open heart who treats you with kindness, love, and respect. That's when you KNOW if the relationship is growing 'deeper' rather than 'apart'.