time2moveon Posted February 10, 2006 Share Posted February 10, 2006 The few of you who know what iv been going through may understand this better, but none the less, this is what has happened lately. Well, since my ex has left me, iv been talking to a good friend of mine in Belgium whom iv known longer than my ex, we are concidering ourselves "dating" right now because of the fact of where he lives and where I am. My counselor told me to do good things for myself and move on and thats what could show my ex, "Oh gosh, shes moving on, I dont wanna looser her." and thats exactly whats happened! My new..I guess "boyfriend" is filling in that gad my ex had in my heart and is helping me mend it right now, and im helping him too for the fact he just got out of a loving relationship too and were kinda helping each other back to our feet. Now, my ex is VERRRRY nosey and I knew that if I put anything online, hed find out, and sure enough, a little while after his photo was put up on a website of mine, I got a call from him. He told me it made his heart sink and was VERY upset. I told him yea im sure it does but...you left me, you choose if we get back together, and since were not together....im moving on. So hes been pouting and just trying to make me feel sorry for him. Yes, I do feel awful for him because hes dealing with ALOTTTT of crap in his life right now. I told him my boyfriend isnt a FALLING IN LOVE relationship because its really hard to even fall in love with someone so soon and so far away. I told him im still here for him and if hes ever wants to get back with me to tell me and ill see where im at in my life. Hes been saying stuff like he still loves me and misses me and all that but I dont know, I honestly think hes kinda like the horses I ride. Once I tie them up, if they dont like it...they flail around and I wanna untie them from their pole so they can feel good again, but wont let me near so im letting them calm down themselves till I can let them go. Hes trying to make me upset and I do miss him and still love him to death. My new boyfriend is just helping me heal from my first love and honestly is truly just a pin pal. He will be flying here in about 2 months for Spring Break so I can show him Georgia and the US. My ex is upset but the ball is in his court, he left me, im moving on, and dealing with my problems. If he wants things to work out, I told him to worry about himself before me, because hes got some problems in his life he wants to deal with and thats supposivly why he left me. Anyways, am I doing the right thing? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
healinginnyc81 Posted February 10, 2006 Share Posted February 10, 2006 Does your new "boyfriend" see the relationship exactly the way you do? Or is he expecting something more and you're just leading him on? I personally don't think it's a good idea to jump from one relationship to the next because then you don't really take the time to learn the lessons of the past relationship. You don't learn to be alone for a little while and be happy that way. It might make you too dependent on the new relationship for your comfort and happiness. But if you're going to do this, I think you should be straightforward with the new guy and make sure he's on the same page. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
time2moveon Posted February 10, 2006 Author Share Posted February 10, 2006 Yeah he does, hes really nice. And no, I dont wanna move fast, like I said, I dont have like LOVE feelings from him. Before I had even talked to him after the break up, I was feeling back to normal anyways. I dont wanna move fast and I have learned what I should be doing with a new relationship. Im also doing things for myself and doing what I want to do whenever I want so, im getting to be more open! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Relationship Coach Posted February 10, 2006 Share Posted February 10, 2006 What happens if your ex comes crawling back to you before Mr. Belgium arrives? 2 months is a long time, anything could happen. Be fair to Mr. Belgium and remember how destroyed your world was when your ex dumped you! You couldn't eat, sleep or even go to school. I know your ex has a long list of issues and they didn't get cured overnight by him finding out that you are dating someone! Your ex did a lot of damage I wouldn't leave the door open for him or share any information about Mr. Belgium with him. A LDR is less of a threat to him and his ego. I think you need to take some time for yourself and when 2 months comes and Mr. Belgium shows up, just have fun and take it from there. RC Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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