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Confused about reactions

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Hi Im new here and have been seeking advise.

Here goes, there is a woman I am truly inlove with and I hope that one day, God willing, we will be married. We've both come out of horrible relationships. Her ex left her 1 month before they were suppose get married ( that relationship was a long one +- 3 and half years.

My ex lied and cheated on me for the better part of two years until I broke it off.


Here's the thing, we have both been single for the last 2 years and we both want this relationship so badly. It's only been three months though,I have given myself completely to her after 1 month and her actions started to change. To me it felt asif I was on a leesh. I was told when I can see her and what we can do. I accepted that. She didnt like my friends either and I know why, they not exactly the greatest bunch of guys out there, but they're were my misfits.


last week Sunday we broke up but Monday morning she sms'd me, that"one day she hopes that I will understand the type of person she is within!"

I ask her to give me 7 days to clear my thoughts and see what I would like in life..

Here is her reply often speak about our feelings that we fail to see the seriousness in certain matters.

Saying I love you everyday does'nt mean we do, I fail to see the sincerity thereof.

When we argue & fight, we allow ourselves to be disrespectful & unkind as we natuarally assume that all can be resolved.

What we fail to realise is that each time this happens we take a step further away from one another and one day, should we continue to treat one another

in this way we'll soon be so far apart, there will be no point turning back.


I can't promise you anything, all I have to offer is who I am at this point in my life.

Time, understanding & love is what we both need.


If 7 days is what you need, I will gladly give you that in hope that you will find exactly what it is you looking for!!!

No matter what our future holds whether it is to be with or without you, I will accept that as I do believe that Love ties no one down but instead

gives us the freedom to be who we are & beside us be blessed with a companion/partner/lover/friend/ who shares the walk through life together.[/i]


Is this a good or bad thing? Can we make something work?

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In my case Id have to ask what love means to her. Is she willing to make sacrifices and understand that every couple argues? Also, if she says she loves you, she should be able to tolerate your friends if only for your sake. They are your "misfits" as you say. You feel comfortable around them and enjoy thier company. She has to understand that. It seems to me as if the relationship is one sided if she has you on a leash and she is able to do everything she wants. You both just have to ask each other what you guys want out of each other.

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Thanks for the advise, we didnt break up, well I dont know what happened between us, I asked for 7 days to clear my head coz we had an argument and she always says the same thing when I say whats on my mind, "you know what Ive been through, I cant handle this"


Im not trying to be control nor do I want the last say in the relationship.

I want us both to be happy, and what ever the sacrifice I have to make Ireally will. I dont see it as a sacrifice. I really dont. I see it as investment in my future.

Love hurts guys.

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It doesn't sound to me like she is able to be in a relationship yet. At least, not a serious one. It sounds like she is really adamant about controlling the relationship, and, based upon her excuse, it is because she is still harboring pain from her old relationship. To me, I don't know if she has truly moved on, but you would be a better judge of that. Just seems like a serious red flag. She's not allowing you to express yourself, and that's bad news.

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