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A little advice please.


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Well, when it comes to love and relationships, I'm about as clumsy as anyone else. I still think about my ex everyday and Nc helps. Talking to friends and you guys on here has been helping too. I recently sat down and tried to figure out who I was and what exactly I was looking for out of life. So far I have accomplished most of what I want. I have a fulfilling career, that I love. I have a few close friends, instead of a lot of okay friends. I'm in the process of getting the car that I have wanted for about a year now, (two more days!!!). I'm looking for a house to buy, instead of paying all this money for nothing to show for it every month. Pretty much for a single guy, I have everything going for me. But something is missing and it's the fact that I'm sick of being alone!

 

I've been real cautious about dating girls for the last few months. But, this time I'm going at the dating scene at a new angle. I just want to spend time with someone and get to know them, before pursuing any intimacy. I think it's a good way to go as all of my previous relationships were; meet, talk, {Censored by Moderator}, date, and end. Most of the breakups were bad.

 

Ok the advice I need, I'm friends with this girl, we have been friends for a little less than a year. We have gone out together a couple of times. Well I hadn't seen her for about 3 months up until two days ago. When I bumped into her, her and I were very excited to see each other. We talked for about 4 hours. I asked for her new cell number and she happily gave it to me. I have more feelings for her than just being friends, how do I tell her without screwing up our friendship? I wanna be with her, but I don't wanna lose what I have with her already. Even if she doesn't feel the same way, I still wanna be friends with her and hang out without any awkwardness between us. Oh and there is another issue, not really a big one, but I guess I should bring it up anyway. She used to date my EX BEST Friend and he accused me of cheating on him with her. The reason he thought I was cheating was because he treated her like crap and we sat down together one time and I knew more about his girlfriend than he did. He actually made a list of people that he thought she would cheat on him with, talk about being a little insecure. I happened to be number 1 on his list. His opinion doesn't really matter, but we have mutual friends and their opinions matter to me somewhat. Obviously I'm gonna do whatever I want. So I guess I'm asking, should I go for it? and if I do go for it, how do I go about it? When should I bring it up? What do I say? I have tried to just say what I feel, but you guys know what that is like, when you get all tongue twisted. I wish I could just say it like it is to her, but everytime I try to, I end up backing off or I can't find the words. Help me out please.

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Well, if you two talked for four hours, then I'm sure there is something a little stronger than just friendhsip there. I don't know if you need to actually say anything. What's wrong with asking her out to dinner or something a little 'datey' and see if she bites? No need to blurt right now... just kind of take it easy and go with the flow.

 

As for your ex best friend.. yeah... that sounds a little pathetic. If I ever want to prove how insecure I am, I will definitely make a similar list and tack it on the refridgerator. Hell, if my gf did that to me, I would take the list and start working down it.

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