i cant remember anything HELP!

[thispaininside]

Hi, ok, last night was my colleges party in a club. I got so drunk, i cant remember half of it i cant even remember getting home, anyway, me and this guy felt each other up (i only know this from him telling me after i had a really short flash back.) I really cant remember the actual event i can only remember me taking his hand, but apparently i took him to a corner of the dancefloor and we felt each other up. There are 2 things with this, I was wearing a tampon, and I cant remember it happening fully. What I am TERRIFIED about also is because i cant remember this im worried that i may have had sex with somebody else, because i have a flashback of thinking about how i wanted to have sex. How can I tell if ive lost my virginity? Thing is im not sure it would have hurt me because of other experiences with being felt up. Take note i was wearing the tampon all through the night. how can i tell if ive lost my virginity im scared

[the yang to the worlds yin]

i suggest you find that guy and ask him what exactly happened, because chances are that he may remember. but if your drinking so much that your blacking out and unaware of your actions, i really do suggest you solve that problem first. things like this may happen again depending on how wasted you allow yourself to become, you've got to watch out for yourself.

[thispaininside]

i know i realsied that after last night. Ive already talked to the guy thts how i found out about the fingering. Thing is im worried tht somebody else could have taken advantage of me. Would I be in pain right now if a guy had sex with me for the first time whilst wearing a tampon?

[Shadows Light]

If you were wearing a tampon... chances are pretty good that if he did go down and there he didn't proceed further.

 

However... what concerns me is that you would drink so much as to NOT remember what you did. "THIS" is a problem.

[Shadows Light]

I don't recall being in pain the day after I lost my virginity.

Your vag. muscles are pretty elastic. However, I'm sure you would

be in pain if it was forced. You might have experienced tearing

or bruising. And... trust me. You'd know.

[the yang to the worlds yin]

i agree with shadows light, if your drinking to the point where you have no idea what your doing, then thats obviousely something you need to deal with. by the way, how old are you, if you don't mind me asking?

[thispaininside]

I know the drinking is a problem, and i dont really want to go into that coz i have other people to talk to about my drinking problem ,im still more worried about whether i lost my virginity. im 17 btw and yes i know im not old enough to be drinking

[sweetheart230]

Based upon the esperience of my friends and I, if you lost your virginity, you would definitely be sore. I was blacked out drunk when I lost my virginity and I just remembered suddenly feeling pain and then telling him to stop. The next day when I went to the bathroom I was really really sore. And I was sore for about a day or so.

 

Also, if you were wearing the tampon the entire night then chances are you didn't have sex. Its hard to have sex with a tampon in and would have probably either been pushed in too far or removed at some point. He would have had a hard time putting his penis in if you had a tampon in, so he probably would have pulled it out.

 

Let this serve as a warning! As someone who lost their virginity while completely wasted with a complete stranger, its not the best way to lose your virginity. Be careful next time!

[thispaininside]

so non of you think that I had sex. because surely it would have hurt lots with the tampon right? and i mean i do have very short flashbacks of parts of the night, and just before my friend figered me. so i guess being drunk and everyone else being drunk 1)there wud be no where to do it 2) i imagine a guy would find it hard to get it up if hes been drinking lots 3) tampon would have hurt and i would have taken it out if i were going to have sex 4) well id remember parts of it wouldnt I. So do you think that its possible..or not even a possibilty at all?

[Lil R]

when you woke up did you still have the tampon in ?

[thispaininside]

yes, but it was a bit strange, no blood or anything as i wasnt actually on, but a bit of the cotten stuff was stretched away from the tampon, but im guessing thts from the fingering

[BellaDonna]

Well if the tampon was still in when you woke up, It's probably unlikely that sex occurred- I'm not saying impossible (because the world is a strange place)- but unlikely.

 

I agree with the others that you need to ask this guy what happened. Sadly, if you have mutual friends- you might find out from them too if he is the immature type to brag about it afterwards.

 

You really need to stop drinking. You can endanger your safety in a major way with your current behavior.

 

BellaDonna

[ShySoul]

As everyone has said, I don't think you had sex either but you should talk to the guy to make sure. Also, if there were friends around, ask them.

 

The big concern is why you feel the need to drink that much in the first place. What other things are you going through that makes you want to do that? Only in facing what is bothering you and why you drink, will you be able to stop. If you need any support with it, we are here to help.

[thispaininside]

please help guys i feel so scared i cant sleep i cant eat, and im terrified, what if when i got home i inserted a new tampon after removing the other one? but not remembering it

coz the first thing one i woke up i thought about removing the tampon..it wasnt until very much later i remembered tht guy fingering me, im so scared, im so so so so so so scared and sad

[Shadows Light]

Calm down.... hysteria will get you NO WHERE.. Take a few deep breaths.

 

There is really nothing anyone can do other than what they've suggested. Go to your friends and ask them if anything unusual happened or was said.

 

2nd. make an appointment for your gynocologist. Go get yourself checked. Pap smear.. a chat... maybe.. birthcontrol.. or start those convesations. You are drinking.. so you are old enough to be going to see a gyno and take responsibility for your body.

 

3rd. do you have a school counselor on campus?? You might try to go talk to them.

 

4rth. right now.. there's not much else that is within your control except.. "WATCH" how much you drink. There are consequences for bad choices.. your present emotional state.. is one of them. You don't wannna be here again do you?? So since there is not much else you can do.. then I ask myself .. .what is she worried about...

 

Pregnancy?? ummmm you were on your pd.. so unlikely.

 

STD??? yeah.. could be. so you go get yourself checked. Talk to your GYNO about your suspcions. He/She may even be able to tell you on how.. ummm tight you are or if you have lost your Hymen.. if you have had sex. Remember, having a Hymen or Not is NOT a sign of virginity. women are way way to active these days.. that it could happen in a number of ways.

 

Now... go take a long long hot shower.. make yourself a nice cup of tea. And snuggle down to a book that will take your mind off of it. Or a movie that will take your mind off of this.

 

Go for a walk.. go to the gym... do something constructive. Calm calm calm... remember to breathe. its ok... you will be just fine.

[thispaininside]

I guess I could be over reacting, its just scary that i cant remember anything at all. I also found out today that sum1 had there drink spiked there. I worked out I had about 16 drinks. mainly beer but also 3 vodka shots. 8 of those drinks were however mini bottles. but still. do u reckon thts enough to get me in a non remembering state? i just hope to god tht i am still a virgin

[ShySoul]

thispaininside,

 

The scariness of not knowing what happened to you is understandable. No one wants to feel like a piece of their life is missing and they have no idea what happened. You feel vulnerable and alone. It's easy for us to say calm down, but the level of panic you must be feeling is something we can't measure. All of your concerns are valid, and its ok to be scared.

 

You need to work through the fear though. It's not easy, but you can do it. And once you have figured out what happened and gotten checked out, you will feel better. Shadows light listed everything you need to do, try to start tackling the list one thing at a time. And remember, things are going to be ok.

[thispaininside]

Hi, im so very scared still, i cant remember anything, i feel like everything is missing and anything could have happened, i dont like this, i really dont. I just cant take it anymore. Im never going to know what happened for certain. I just feel so ill

[thispaininside]

actually dont worry about it guys. im just gonna do my best to forget about it, i can worry as much as i like about what ifs and so on. But it probably wont help me remember anything, no doubt itd make me "remember" (or make up) other things in my head. so im just gonna wait until 2 weeks take a preg test (doubt i had sex) and see what the result is, if its all good, then ill say i just got too drunk couldnt remember anything, and was just my normal paranoid self (i get paranoid about this kinda thing alot) i always have to ask guys when i stop over at theres if we did anything, even if i know we didnt. yes i know im weird and scrupulous at asking these things. so im just gonna say what happened happened, and if i am preg which is so very very doubtful to the max, then i will just say well i cant even remember that time, and whoever is my "first" is my first, coz i know now that it will mean so much to me whoever it is, and i know ill want everything to be perfect.

Thanks everyone,

ThisPainInside

xxxx