Eating Disorder Awareness Week

[HoldMeTightly]

It's ED awareness week so I thought now would be a good time to post this.

My girlfriend is anorexic and usually if she's forced to eat, she forces herself to throw up.

I want her to start eating, I want her to be happy. She eats when she's happy, which is usually only around me, or right after we hung out, however, due to many conflicts, I can't be with her all of the time.

What can I do?

She's not talking in therapy. She barely talks to me about this because it upsets her a lot.

What can I do? Please help…

[the yang to the worlds yin]

i'm sorry, theres really so little that you can do. she's figuting a battle thats deep down inside herself, and unfortunately she has to fight it alone. but you can be a wonderful and supportive companion, make sure she knows you think she has a wonderful body and remind her that she can talk to you about anything she needs to.

 

to be truthful, the second she starts to eat anything somewhat susbtantial, she'll most likely gain a good amount of weight. the body will take all it can from whatever she eats, in order to support itself. she's not helping out her weight any by doing this. if she wants to lose weight, stress to her the importance of just 30 minutes of excercise a day, and 3 big meals. thats the way to go about it, but not starvation

[ShySoul]

The yang gave good advice. Sadly, all you can do is be a friend and be there for her. Be supportive and understand, stressing her the importance of a good diet and helping her to see she doesn't need to be doing that stuff. But its her that has to make the final decision to address the problem on her own and get better.

 

You are a good friend for helping her through it. I hope she gets better.

[Pixiemeat]

Can't say much more than anyone else has. Just be there for her, which you are (it's really commendable too). As someone who is only very slowly recovering from an eating disorder, it is very difficult to trust people enough to talk to them about it. I still find it difficult to talk about this with my boyfriend, and we've been together four years. It's a mixture of being ashamed and not wanting to bother people with it. There's no point in trying to drag it out of her, because that'll just make her intransigent. Just let her know that you're there. I too only ate when my boyfriend was around because I felt happy and wanted him not to worry about me, so what she's doing is common. Good luck.

[AntiLove_SuperStar]

I admire you for sticking by her with this, it's hard.

 

I have an ED myself, id just like to say no matter how hostile or angry she gets, its not personal. Its all about internal rage...you probably knew that already but I just wanted to say it.

[ShySoul]

AntiLove_SuperStar - Just wanted to say you are strong for working through your ED. Hope you are doing well.

[AntiLove_SuperStar]

Thank you, Shy, I appreciate all encouragement

[sugarandspice]

heya

 

ive an ed too since i was 10, am now 19 and still batterling everysec of everyday seems difficult. i'm mia now (bulimic) was ana (anorexic) i want to get back to being ana to loose weight as i feel so uncomfortable and huge. i know if i just didnt diet in the first place and did eat sensibly i wouldn't have a prob and wouldn't be fat. but it's a mind thing. For me i will always feel big no matter what weight and will always want to be slimmer. For me also its always been a way to punish myself or a way of coping, it started when i was bullied and my parents divorced. Its so difficult. I know when i was ana when i ate a meal i would literally break down in tears like it's the worst thing that could happen. It's something thats always on the shoulders, always taking up your thoughts, and like chains wrapped around you. Part of you may want to escape, but most of you is too scared.

 

Support is vital which is where a caring person like you come in. Just let her know she is loved and cared for and let her know you love the person she is. concentrate on who she is minus the ed, and be there to talk if she ever wants to. i have met a guy recently who has been wounderfull and i guess i can talk to him as he doesnt make me feel the ed as my fault. He's a rare person who understands and just wants to see a friend stop destroying themselve as there's no reason to. Maybe you two are in the same boat!

 

this guy i stayed with for 2 weeks and in that time wasn't sick once. I had someone constantly there by my side to cuddle me, comfort me, support me and be there rather than the food. everytime i felt bad i had him by my side to tell. As soon as i was home i was back to my old ways. But i realised its ME that has to change me. I have to support and love myself. Its tough as most my life ive felt the need to punish myself. Sometimes i feel like the ed demon inside me is part of me, like it's always been there and always will be. I sometimes think i can't carry on living this way it's no life and most the time it tares me apart.

 

but i guess what has kept me here even if its by a v.thin string, is friends and family. i used to feel i belonged no where. My family fell apart it seemed and i looked at others and longed to have a family like them and to have the friends they had as i have grown up with hardly anyone. One friend though has been there recenlty and i know she will be a friend forever, and i have met people in the last year which have helped me realise i am not alone. Just having support and people to talk to and to know you are cared about is such a huge deal. all you can do is be there for her. keep in touch a lot, im sure you do by phone/texts,emails,send her a letter to make her day and put a smile on her face. let her know you are there when she needs you and that you also need her. i think its a good thing you cant be there all the time, you both need space, and she does with the ed, to care about herself as its her thats going to get her better. I was scared of leaving the guy, but i know when i am by myself and im not sick, thats when ive made a HUGE improvement. At the mo he is my comfort blanket that i am scared of loosing, so i know i have to rely on myself to "get Better" if thats ever possible!!!but i think things can improve, even if the ed demons voice is still there, i am always trying to turn down the volume.

 

over the last year i've posted on link removed it has made me realise i am not alone!!!!!

 

hope any of this helps.

 

Sugar X x x X