Different Stages

[krissy]

Just wanted to start a tread to see what everyone thinks about being in a relationship with someone who is at a different point in their lives that you... even if you are bascially the same age. For example, one partner is finished unversity with a full-time professional job while the other has to go back and complete high school before they can even attempt some kind of post seconardary eduation. I have my own car and pretty much ready to get a house. Obviously I would have to put my life on hold until this person is at the same point as me... which could take years. This is just one example. Let me know what you guys think about this.

[DN]

Not sure why you would have to put your life on hold?

[krissy]

Well that what I'm asking kinda...

Like obviously they dont have money to live on their own. But I also dont have the money to support myself and someone else. So I'm kinda stuck with living at home as well.

[annie24]

Why don't you just get a house yourself if you are ready? He's not your husband, so you can't really (or shouldn't) make serious decisions about your life based on him.

[Itsok]

Krissy, be careful. You recently got out of a bad relationship did you not? I have a small memory of you being in a relationship where you were also paying his way for everything, right? Or is this the same abusive guy?

 

Sounds like you are getting into the same boat again, or that you haven't gotten out!

 

Never put your life on hold for someone else. They have to support themselves and you, yourself. Unless you are married, there's no reason to compromise your future for him.

[spunkykatt]

It all depends on love if you ask me. If you are truly in love with someone and they are not at the same place as you then you dont care to wait for them. Thats how it is with my current bf and I, we have been together for almost 2 years now, and we are still working on reaching the same level as eachother. When we met I was married and he was separated, but I fell in love with him almost instantly...and as he did me. I have since separated from my then husband, but am still not divorced, due to custody issues over our daughter. My bf however divorced his wife after relizing he wanted to be with me from now on, and wanted to show me that he wanted to commit to me long term. Now here it is two years later, and he is still patiently waiting for me to finally be divorced so we can move on with our life together and have a family. He sometimes gets frustrated with the situation, but understands that us being together is inevitable, we just have to be willing to be patient.