a cheat wants to be friends with my girl

[googenhiemer]

a few years ago i was going out with a girl named kat. i wouldnt put out so she cheated on me with a guy named taylor. that relationship is the worst mistake i think ive ever made. now im going out with a girl named Hayley. she met taylor at an activity for aspiring firefighters. for a while he would call her several times a week. once when i was there she even left the room to talk to him. after that we talked about him alot, i explained that i didnt like him and would like to meet him before i wanted them doing anything together as friends. i never met him, aside from once, from relationship past. after a while she told me that she was ignoring him when ever they were near each other, basically for the firefighting thing (called explorers) and he was calling another girl. (he's a freshman in a collage out of town) the other day i go to pick Hayley up from school, she wasnt expecting me, and she ditches the ride her dad prearanged, to go with taylor and didnt even see me. she got into his car alone, which i specifically said i didnt want her doing. i dont see why hes even there, she says he was talking to her class about his college. i dont see why he would have been there, it wasnt pre aranged, he just showed up. she said he offered to give her a ride and wanted to know why she wasnt talking to him. im 98% sure she told me he wanted to know that before once or twice when he called. she says that never happened.

 

he has a history of cheating on his girlfriends, even if the girls have boyfriends. she knows this. im not sure how much to trust her about him. he says he just wants to be friends with her. my last girlfriend told me he said that to.

 

help im not sure if its nothing to worry about or not. but i think my feelings might be clouding my view, i need another opinion. what should i do.

[Lil R]

At the end of the day he sounds like a creep but i think you cant tell what your girlfriend what to do cause she might take it the wrong way so id tell her nicely what hes like and that you just want her to watch out and make sure shes aware what sort of person you think he is but dont try to lead her thoughts on him just let her figure it out

[RandomAdvisor]

Yeah I agree with Lil R. He does sound like a creep, but in the end what it all comes down to is whether or not you trust your GF. If you don't, maybe you should break up with her on that basis alone. But if you do, then you shouldn't tell her what to do and who she can associate herself with. In the end that will only lead to problems. If there start to be red flags that's she's cheating then that's another thing, cross that bridge when you come to it. But so far it appears she has been completely honest with you.

[fishrrshortae]

I don't think she's been honest with him at all. Even if she doesn't physically do something with him .. as a woman, it sounds to me like u have reason to be suspicious at least.

 

If my boyfriend were concerned about a guy I'm friends with, I'd hear him out. AKA, is this just him being a jealous idiot? Or would I feel uncomfortable in the same situation reversed?

 

I think your girlfriend is poorly judging this guy, and worse, she's making you uncomfortable. I would have a serious talk with her about it. There really isn't any reason for them to even be friends, from what I see, and it definitely sounds like something is going on.

 

I wouldn't ultimatum her, but just tell her that you're really uncomfortable. Ask her how she'd feel if the situations were reversed. If she said she wouldn't care, then she's either on crack or doesn't care about you.

 

My .02