5 year Long Distance Relationship

[mikeyc77]

Hi,

 

I've been in a LDR for just over a year. My girlfriend is currently studying a part-time foundation college course with a view to starting a degree next year. The original plan was for her to enroll in a University near me once the foundation course was completed. However, last week she said she changed her mind. If she was to move to a uni near me, she would have to start as a full-time student. If she stays where she is, the course is specifically designed for part-time students who work as well so she would keep her current job. Her problem is, she says she could not rely on me for money if she moved here. When I try to discuss possible options with her, she gets upset which makes converstaion difficult.

 

I obviously want what is best for her but if she enrolls on the course where she is now, this long distance relationship will continue for another 5 years! I've managed it for this long because there has been something to look forward to but another 5 years just seems so long.

 

I've thought of ways I could move down to her but I currently work for my father and I'm due to take over the family business in the next 5 years so moving would mean leaving this job and a life-time of financial security. I would also have to sell my flat.

 

I can't see a way out.

[arwen]

Hey mickey,

 

Facing 5 years of longdistance is horrible. For both you and your gf. I can understand that you were taken aback by her decision. However, I think the solution lies somewhere in the middle. Is taking over your fathers business what YOU want in life, or do have other dreams as well? Dreams that are possible to realize closer to her? Did you talk to your dad about this, and how does your family regard this relationship?

 

Ilse

[ShySoul]

As Isle said, the solution tends to lie in the middle, in some sort of compromise. If she can't move to you, can you move to her? Do you really want to follow the family business or do you want to go on your own? Anyone else that can take over from your dad? Any way that she can start in this program, but transfer later on when the financial situation would be easier?

 

A five year long distance relationship might seem impossible and daunting. But its not impossible to maintain. If you both believe you can do it, you can do it. Go over all your options right now, and talk with each other. You can figure out a way around this.