Yes, its a date.....I don't want anything serious though.

[shelbymustang_fan]

Why do people do this??? I have noticed many women pull this stunt, and now a good male friend of mine has pulled it. Why do both men and women set dates up if they are not ready/interested in a relationship forming. It seems so misleading to me...If its called a date, you flirt/compliment...etc, which could cause two people to grow very close, very quickly.

 

I'd really like everybody's opinion on the issue

Thanks

[DN]

Sometimes people just want to go out and have fun with no expectations. Or they want to avoid something too hot and heavy too soon and are just making that clear.

[annie24]

Maybe they just want to have someone to go see a movie with, or go to a new restaurant with. That doesn't necessarily mean that they are looking for a meaningful relationship - just want some company for that night.

[lost_status]

Hmm, well i guess it depends on the persons age, younger people who do this call it "having fun" but older people who are serious take it seriously.

 

Ive been in this situation, so has a close friend of mine, we both have been misleaded to think the other person wanted something serious, but when comfronting them, they insist that they cant have a relationship at the moment but do enjoy the other person's company.

 

My opinion on this is that i think it can be ok in some situations (where both people want the same thing) and wrong in others (where only one wants a serious relationship and the other one couldnt care less)

[shelbymustang_fan]

I agree, there is nothing wrong with seeing a movie with someone as a casual friend, but to re-phrase my question: Lets say two people are set up on a blind date...this usually happens because they are single, and friends are trying to hook-em up. Maybe I'm making a big deal of this, but it seems like if somebody isnt ready for a relationship, why would they agree to the date in the first place. Maybe I'm also hung up on the word "date". If this is how people feel, they shouldn't call it a "date"

[shelbymustang_fan]

This is what I'm getting at here. Example: I'm on a date, flirting...etc. The other person is flirting back. When It comes time to end the date and ask them again/or to be bf/gf, they say they arent ready for it....So if this is true, then why did they play along with the flirting game and mislead you. If this is how they feel, they should not flirt back!!

[Dako]

I'd consider a blind date to meet someone new. Maybe like me, the other person just wants the same thing.

I don't think a date implies a readiness to form a relationship. You have to spend time with someone first. Such as on a date.

 

Sounds like you expect a return on investment with no risk.

[annie24]

Well, some people are just looking for a "casual" relationship - one with that's physical and fun, but not going to be long-term. If you're 20, chances are that many people are looking for just that.

 

The bottom line is that in these early stages of dating, don't get so hung up on something serious. You two are still getting to know each other.

 

Think of it like shopping - don't you sometimes walk into a store, just to look around, see what CDs and DVDs are out (or whatever else you are into)? Sometimes you walk in with an intention to buy, sometimes you walk in with an intention just to see what is there.

[annie24]

Another possibility is that they are just not as interested in you as you are in them. They are pretty much telling you that they are ok with hanging out/fooling around once in a while, but as far as bf/gf, or promising to be there for you, it is not what they are after.

[Bethany]

Seems to me that they tried to make a connection by flirting but it didn't happen, hence the I'm not ready thing to break it off without actually saying it.

 

Buy hey, it's a good sign that they wanted to flirt with you and tried to make that connection, I think it's just a matter of time until you do meet someone who connects with you. Keep flirting!

[Mrocza]

I don't think there's anything wrong with that :S

 

That was actually my mentality when I met my current bf.

 

I personally think going on dates expecting some miracle magical relationship to sprout of out nowhere is a little more than unnerving. Why is it so wrong to not expect anything serious. It's not ambiguous, it's realistic.

 

I think it's actually better to go on a date, without all of the nerve racking expectations of "Can I be with him?" "Is he good for me?" "Does he like me?" "Do I like him?"

 

Just go with the flow. I think if you enjoy someone's company in a relaxed environment, sparks, if any, will fly on their own.

[teacup]

i think ppl should make it very clear and honest what they are looking for. i find that to be the best. those who are looking for relationships should make it clear they want something more and arent into the casual thing. those into the casual thing should let it be known they are after more.