I cant be bothered

[Lil R]

Normally my sex drive is abnormal because im always on it...but now becasue me and my boyf have been going through a rough time i dont feel comfortable when he touches me and i become very hot and cold which is unfair...ive tried avoiding things but hes notices and if i tell him he just wont understand that its not him its me...he tried touching me down below but im just not aroused and i feel really uncomfortable i dont know what to do...

 

and some of you might say leave him if you cant talk to him but its like difficult to tell him because he'l feel insecure then

[DN]

Have you been able to resolve the issues that are giving you are rough time or are they still a problem?

 

And do you still love him and want to be with him?

[Lil R]

i dont know anymore well i guess ive got over the issues like he didnt cheat on me but i just feel like stiff and i dont want to say boring cause im not bored but like quiet

[DN]

This is the guy you posted about who is abusing you!! No wonder you don't want him near you sexually. Why do you want him near you at all?

[Lil R]

he isnt exacting abusing me and i just wanted to know if it was ok for me to hit him and not expect him to hit me back....our relationship is so complicated and i broke it off yesterday but we've been through so much we just cant...and even through the worst time worst than this ive always had my sex drive

[Lil R]

And before like i couldnt wait to see him and i didnt want to go home and i wouldnt leave him alone but now i just dont care like ive given up and its such a effort

[DN]

one time when my boyf found a guys number in my mobile he kicked me really hard on the leg and pushed my face violently away loads of times...i let it go because i was in the wrong and i dont blame him

 

That is abuse, and behaviour like that would turn off anyone's sex drive who was not a masochist.

[Lil R]

lol i know that sounds bad he just kicked my leg but after that i was ok i got over that i guess i cant win with you im looking at the two things differently

[DN]

I am just concerned about your safety - but if you think it's ok, then what other reason do you think might cause your problem?

[Lil R]

i just dont know everytime he brings sex up i yawn

[arwen]

You have posted before about this relationship, and I am really starting to wonder why the two of you are still together. He abuses you, the two of you hit each other from time to time, you have lost your sexual interest, girl, what's keeping you from ENDING it?

 

Ilse

[Lil R]

i really really love him and its like going to be weird because we made so many plans together like were going on holiday together on the 16th and ive got my prom and hes got a fashion show and were just so use to having each other in our lifes its like a daily routine and hes got no family here or anything so im all hes got and il feel so gulity cause im supposed to look after him.

[ShySoul]

You have a strong attachment to each other, and ending things is going to be difficult. But your last post essentially said that you are staying together because you are used to it, and that you don't have other people in your lives. That is no reason to keep a relationship going. Especially one in which he has abused you and you are hitting each other. And now you don't even have a strong sex life to hold you two together.

 

A relationship should happen because the two people truly love each other and they get along well together. As much as you may love him, this isn't a healthy love for either of you. You are holding onto something that isn't really there, and the little bit that is there is just hurting you. For your own physical and emotional safety, it really is best to stop seeing him all together. Cancel the plans you made with him. Don't stay together out of a sense of obligation to go through with these plans. This relationship isn't worth it, and I would hate to see it continue and you just get more and more hurt.

[arwen]

I totally agree with ShySoul. I have the impression you confuse 'love' with a false sense of security and the lack of other persons in your life doesn't help.

 

Please give it some thought. I have the feeling you will be so thankful to yourself later on.

 

Ilse

[ShySoul]

Ending a relationship is scary and frightening. So many people stay in situations that are bad for them because they are afraid of letting go, afraid of facing the unknown. But they end up regretting it later. I would hate for you to have to learn that the hard way.

 

You are a strong person. Whatever is out there, on your own, you can handle it. And I'm here if you need support. Like Isle and everyone else has said, you will be thankful later on if you do this.