azul Posted February 5, 2006 Share Posted February 5, 2006 Why is so easy for you guys to leave the other woman after been catched from their wives? Link to comment
xtina Posted February 5, 2006 Share Posted February 5, 2006 I don't understand the question =$ by the way, portuguese?? Link to comment
DN Posted February 5, 2006 Share Posted February 5, 2006 If you mean why do men find it so easy to cheat on their wives it's for same various reasons that wives cheat on their husbands. Link to comment
avman Posted February 5, 2006 Share Posted February 5, 2006 I think the question is: "Why is it so easy for the husband to abandon the mistress once their wife has caught on to the affair?" Is that your question azul? Link to comment
xtina Posted February 5, 2006 Share Posted February 5, 2006 because.... the mistress is a sex toy to use when he gets bored? and the wife is someone who can cook foooooooood and... clean the house.. and ... and... whatever a man believes women should do thereforeeee, it is much easier to leave the mistress than the wifes (plus divorce is very expensive Link to comment
DN Posted February 5, 2006 Share Posted February 5, 2006 OK, if avman is right (and he probably is!) it is usually because a divorce would cost him too much in terms of money, time with children and loss of his home. And maybe he was just using his lover and didn't really love her anyway. Link to comment
azul Posted February 5, 2006 Author Share Posted February 5, 2006 sorry, my english is no so good, yes, this it is the Q Link to comment
adideas Posted February 5, 2006 Share Posted February 5, 2006 To quote Chris Rock -- Pancakes or Pusxxxxxxy. The age old question. Going into an affair there is an understanding that there is a commitment already in place with someone else. That commitment was there long before the mistress showed up. There are deeper roots and a history. If you went in with any other expectation, you went in blind. Sure the sex is fun, I'm sure, but when rubber meets the road who is the man going to want by his side? Someone who would jeopardize a family's life or someone who built his family? Be a realist in what you are getting yourself into. Link to comment
xtina Posted February 5, 2006 Share Posted February 5, 2006 sorry, my english is no so good, yes, this it is the Q Are you portuguese by any chance? Link to comment
azul Posted February 5, 2006 Author Share Posted February 5, 2006 Are you portuguese by any chance? no, I'm spanish. Link to comment
azul Posted February 5, 2006 Author Share Posted February 5, 2006 To quote Chris Rock -- Pancakes or Pusxxxxxxy. The age old question. Going into an affair there is an understanding that there is a commitment already in place with someone else. That commitment was there long before the mistress showed up. There are deeper roots and a history. If you went in with any other expectation, you went in blind. Sure the sex is fun, I'm sure, but when rubber meets the road who is the man going to want by his side? Someone who would jeopardize a family's life or someone who built his family? Be a realist in what you are getting yourself into. What really hurt me from all my husband affair was, that he had sex with me one night and said that he loves me, and the next day had sex with her. of course there were some issues in our marriage, but now we are doing ok. Link to comment
ocrob Posted February 5, 2006 Share Posted February 5, 2006 I would ask the question, why would a woman get involved with a married man? I am not judging at all, but it just seems that you know what you are getting into. If this guy would cheat on his wife, then he would cheat on you. Cheaters do not make good mates. Link to comment
DN Posted February 5, 2006 Share Posted February 5, 2006 I would ask the question, why would a woman get involved with a married man? I am not judging at all, but it just seems that you know what you are getting into. If this guy would cheat on his wife, then he would cheat on you. Cheaters do not make good mates. I think the OP is the cheated wife not the cheater's mistress. Link to comment
Shadows Light Posted February 5, 2006 Share Posted February 5, 2006 It was easy to get involved with another woman. She doesn't know him as well as you do. He hasn't disapointed her yet. He can be anyone and everything. She doesn't look at him with a critical eye. Shakespeare said.."Familiarity breeds contempt." grin. He couldn't fix himself for you. There's history. You can forgive but you do not forget. And the affair is like a shot of B-12 and a boost to his EGO. How can he leave her so quickly? Easy.. she was just a toy that made him feel good for a while. Just like a child gets a new toy for Christmas that he's been wanting wanting wanting.... he plays with it for a while. And then he puts it aside when he's done playing with it. The mistress is an object. He doesn't or didn't respect her. Why do they come back??? Comfort zone. Obligation. To leave he would lose. He would lose money. Family. Children. And have to pay pay pay till the kids are 18 or so. He'd also lose his pride. His children would look at him differently. Friends.. Family. Its just much easier for him to come home. And keep things as they are. For you Poster.... I suggest marriage counselling. I suggest that since he's come home.. you figure out "what went wrong" and both of you seriously work to making your marriage different. If you continue with business as usual.. you'll wind up being his mother and jail warden. Always watching for the next time. That is not a marriage. Grandma told me that if you have to keep a dog on a leash.. the dog isn't worth keeping. If you constantly have to watch the dog so he doesn't run away... the dog aint worth keeping. Link to comment
punkystarkiss Posted February 6, 2006 Share Posted February 6, 2006 What really hurt me from all my husband affair was, that he had sex with me one night and said that he loves me, and the next day had sex with her. of course there were some issues in our marriage, but now we are doing ok. Then why are you still with him, isn't respect important in a relation. Serioulsy if ur just staying with him for the kids, then that's not good. Link to comment
punkystarkiss Posted February 6, 2006 Share Posted February 6, 2006 How did u found out, do u mean u actually cuaght him in bed with her, in the act?? Link to comment
azul Posted February 6, 2006 Author Share Posted February 6, 2006 How did u found out, do u mean u actually cuaght him in bed with her, in the act?? No, she sent a text messenger in his cellular it said "I miss you, I'm bringing down two songs for us to listen to it and drink". after that I went to his emails account and chat with her, pretending I was him, she told me everthing about them, for how long they were together, how many times had sex ect. Link to comment
xtina Posted February 6, 2006 Share Posted February 6, 2006 wow, I don't even understand how much you might be going through =/ I think you should kick his * * *! maybe go to strip clubs to make him miss you and find out how stupid he was. Well as you see I'm not so good with these kinda things, because I'm not even successful with relationships. But I'm sure you will be able to deal with this situation because your a lady, and ladies are always strong ^_^ Link to comment
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