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Need some encouraging words, please.

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It will be my one year with my GF this month. We are really happy.


Around the four month mark, I almost cheated on her. If anything, I emotionally cheated on her, (nothing physical, althought I may have wanted it). We were going through a rough time and I was an idiot.


Today she asked me if I had every cheated on her in any way, or wanted too. I of course lied, and said No. I know she would be heartbroken and lose all her trust in me. I love her so much, and I made a stupid mistake (even though nothing actually happened).


I feel really guilty, we've come to this thingy today where we both agree that the past doesn't matter, etc etc. But I have a feeling this guilt is going to get to me.


I cannot ever tell her what happened, so please don't suggest. I know right now that I will never be able too, nor bear witness to her reaction.


I guess all I want to hear is that, "I really didn't do anything. She's better off not knowing." Words like that....


Even if you have words that may not be exactly comforting to me, please reply and tell me what you think.


Thanks in advance.

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After only going out for 1 month (and you didn't physically cheat) your relationship was still only finding it's feet.


If you said that you were having these thoughts still and acted upon them ,well then it would be a different story.


You should not lie, ever! However, you seem to really regret what you have done so early in your relationship and you both have decided to leave the past behind.


I would suggest you forgive yourself, learn from your mistake and make sure you never do this again. Move on and enjoy the relationship you currently have with the love of your life.

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Hi Protex


Since you didn't cheat physically meaning no CONTACT whatsoever between you and her body and your STILL feeling guilty with yourself.I say SHOWER her with attention till your GUILT IS GONE! Make her a card , tell her how she is always on your mind.


Do you cook ?


You get the picture? You'll figure something out.


Protex i can only say this about cheating cause it has happened to me and

the pain your partner inflict's really hurts a person in so many ways!


Always speak your mind let your SO know when something is bothering you.Don't ever feel ashamed to ask or tell what you are feeling.Don't ever assume the other know's what your thinking and vice versa.


Relationships grow with communication and the More you communicate will lead to a better understanding for you both.


Good Luck To You

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I applaud you for stopping the act before it even happened. Its one thing to think, another to act. Your relationship was still in its infancy at that time, and it happens to the best of us. It sounds like you are somewhat overreacting though, and if you tell her, she may take it the wrong way and think "he must be hiding something". Everybody gets tempted at one point. Its how you react to the temptation that matters. You pushed the thought aside, which was the right thing to do. There are some guys that don't have the balls to resist temptation. Think of it this way.. Can you imagine having to tell her u DID cheat? I wouldn't say a thing if I were you. There is really no need to. Why would you create such a rift in your relationship? Why would you have her question your trust? You didn't cheat. 'Nuff said.

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Sometimes when a couple goes through a "rough patch", the connection doesn't feel so strong and one partner or the other has thoughts or notices someone outside the relationship a little more. It's not so unusual.


The important thing is that you worked it out and that you did not cheat on her or act on your impulse. You also recognize that the act of messing with someone else isn't fair to your relationship, which is why you feel guilty for even having those feelings. I don't think you did anything wrong.


I think you can try to forgive yourself and let this feelings go. The important thing is that you feel that strong connection to your girl now and you can show her how much you love her with your anniversary coming up.

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  • 2 weeks later...



I don't think you should beat yourself up so much.


As you mentioned, your relationship was going through a rut and you were obviously confused. You never acted on those urges and THAT shows a great deal more will power.


If you love her now, then your past thoughts shouldn't matter. Keep in mind: You didn't cheat.


All the best on your one-year!

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You are a good person for being so concerned about this when you didn't even physically do anything. Many people think nothing of physically cheating, let alone emotional cheating. But the fact that you feel bad anyways shows just what kind of person and the strength of character you have. Don't worry about this. Enjoy the relationship, and I hope it is as strong as ever.

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the fact that you show remorse to me is the key....i pretty much agree w/most of the responses. while i feel honesty is best, and i know i would want to know if i was your gf, sounds like its better in this case that she didn't. things didn't go too far w/you and the other woman, and you're clearly sorry for letting it happen. keep it to yourself but remember next time you are tempted to cheat, how you feel right now....if it happens again, then you probably need to talk to your gf

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