somebody please call the WAHbulance

[shau_nee]

ok, so I really don't think it's a good idea to remain friends with your ex after a breakup. I dated this guy awhile back before I met my now bf. He heard that I'm breaking up with my now bf and has been calling me everyday. He basically calls me everyday and wines to me on the phone about how things have been going on his life. He wines about his kids, his job and even his ex. I listen to him because I'm a caring person. At first I even thought about dating him again. But then I realized he hadn't change a bit. He will call me everyday and make a date with me the next day. He will say lets go out to dinner for pizza or something. Then after work he gets busy with all his friends and never shows up. He has made three dates with me in a week and has never made it to one of them. He does get a house full of company and gets really busy and he is a nice guy. But I'm just getting sick of it. So am I being selfish? and I only live a half hour from him but he makes it sound like it's impossible to pick me up.

[shes2smart]

If he's that busy, why is bothering to ask anyone out?

 

You have a right to decide who you will allow into your life and who you won't. Nothing selfish about exercising that right. You said you already dated this guy, and since that's "dated" in the past tense I'm guessin' it didn't work out. You also mentioned he "hasn't changed."

 

If it didn't work out before and he hasn't changed, it's not going to work out now, either.

 

Besides, wouldn't you rather see someone who would make the time for you in their schedule and would honor a small commitment like setting a day and time for a date and then sticking to it? If someone can't follow through on small stuff like that, how do you expect them to follow through on the big stuff?

[shau_nee]

shes2smart, thanks for the response

He really is a nice guy and for that reason i wanted to remain his friend, and possibly date him again. He is also a good friend of my family but yeah that is the reason I broke up with him in the first place.

I think if we could get it right tho we would have a good relationship. He just has way to many friends that visit him and we never had any time alone. But we always did have a good time together and he treated me like a princess at one time, but i don't think I'm going to get that back.

so I think I was hoping for something that isn't going to happen.

[Relationship Coach]

Shau nee,

 

Being a friend is one thing but friendships should be balanced. His friendship is one-sided and he certainly gets a hold of you to go over the wine-list! To me friends don't treat friends like that. He has too much baggage that unfortunately clutters your doorway to happiness. Pull back and let him see what it's like without you in any capacity.

 

RC