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Was nearly abused long ago!!!!

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Hi people and to all of u new to enotalone, I'm new here

So far, 2 yr. relation, however, my finace and me are waiting till marriage, we're both unexperience. It's true I'm till virgin, but I didn't told him nor anyone that it was out of luck, out of empathy this stranger had for me. Well fiance gonna celebrate my b-day today, it's really tomorrow, but he's got work tomorrow. Well see this took place, already a very long time ago, 8 years ago. Basically I had an argument with mom that day and well she say something real bad to me, complain that she wish I would bring home more A's than B's on report card, so I got so mad and just took off. I just took a long walk, I figure it would relieve of wut mother had say, but comes the scariest part which I get taken from behind. Tought at 12, I was alread 5"7", now I'm 5"10", still no match for the stranger, must have been like somewhere b/w 22-28 years old. He took me right in his truck, then drove somewhere I dunno, all I could think of trying remaining calm, no tears, no nothing, I figure that the more I get scare, the more likely he'll get frustrated and assault. When I first ask where is he taking me, he didn't answer. In my mind I was like "oh no, he's gonna rape me, I dunno nothing about this, I'm a virgin". Then kept saying how pretty I look, I thinking in my mind "Pretty, I'm only 12 u freak, u lunatic", but all I could say was "yea". Then he stops the car, I noticed there was a very long pause, but I didn't bother opening the door and getting out, I figure he'll catch me anyhow. But then suddently, he was like "No, I can't do it, this is wrong, and by the looks, ur just a kid" then he voice rose a little and he told me to get out of the car before he change his mind and push me out. Next thing I notice is he drove away. It's a relieve he didn't rape me and never heard from him again, but then till this day I keep thinking how wut if he's still there wondering waiting for other victims who might not be lucky. Reason I didn't report was cuz I keep thinking that if I did, he'll come back again and I might not be lucky again. That day off course mom was worry, I just lie about going with some friend who played a joke on me leaving me behind and me wondering around in the streets. Ok, so I have kept quiet all these years but the thought of him coming back is wut I can't stop thinking, wut if he has no sympathy this time and decides to rape or other girls. Wut if he already done this on other girls who didn't get lucky.

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That must have been verty tramatic and thank god nothing else happened. If he is still out there, I hope he has gotten help and hasn't hurt anyone else. It's sad that there are people in this world who would do such things.


Clearly, this has affected you and stayed with you all these years. You need to tell someone and get it out. See a professional to help you through all the years you have been burying this inside you. You can't keep it all inside forever, or it is going to keep bothering you and driving you crazy. When it happened, you were young and scared, too afraid to say anything. And thats understandable. But the only way to get through this so it doesn't keep coming back is to reveal it to someone and get help. Talking about it here is a good first step. But we can't solve your problems, we aren't equipped to do so. Your loved ones need to know so they can help you work through things. And you need to see someone specialized in handling these cases. We on the site will be here if you want to talk.


Best of luck and I hope you can work through this.

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